the 14 Days of Valentine's Day Posts: GET OUT THERE!

Hi Readers,

So, I am a little behind in my posts (but only by a couple of days!) Since I last wrote, we had a snow day on Friday and we have one scheduled again for tomorrow. Wow! I guess the ground from Pennsylvania was a little confused :)

Anyway, continuing with the "14 Days of Valentine's Day Series."

I've often been told by many friends that I need to "take more risks" when it comes to meeting people, particularly where relationships are concerned. I am quite accustomed to "crushing" as a todays teenage girls say and keeping it a secret all to myself. I do have to admit, that I am not one of those gals to make the first move. In addition, I am also very adept (from years of experience, I might add), to putting up invisible walls/boundaries between myself and the potential guy that I like. Honestly, I'm not really quite sure why I do that. Perhaps, when I examine this characteristic of myself more closely (NCIS style), I realize that I put up these "walls" as a sense of protection in case I were to "get hurt."

As a young girl, I was always "gun ho" about my education. My parents instilled that piece of learning within me that their belief in being an educated, thoughtful, mindful person is one of the major stepping stones in life. I carried this belief with me all throughout my childhood and onto high school. Sure, I had crushes, but never really any "serious" boyfriends. Looking back, all of the guys that I "liked" or developed an interest in, were those with charisma, who had significant flaws, were jokesters and jocks. I'm typically drawn to the guys who needed fixing and those that I think may like me and that I could "fix." But the reality is, you cannot help those who do not want to help themselves.

Nowadays, I appreciate men who do have a good sense of humor, who can make me laugh, who like independent and self-driven women, who are passionate about their field of work, and who love their family, animals, and kids.

As far as the "getting out more" to meet new people (particular guys), I am slowly learning how do this. More importantly, I am learning how to navigate the waters of once having a social life (in college) to having no social life (full-time work and Graduate school) to having a life outside of work again. It's a messy and beautiful balance and I am fortunate to be a part of it.

Check out this article, Stop getting in your own way, from October 4, 2015 - written by Erika Ettin from the Tribune News Service and published in The Providence Journal. It is a great piece about dating, relationships, and how we can sometimes be the person who is "getting in the way."

Any suggestions for me? Feel free to leave a comment.
Stay warm my New Englander friends.

-cheers!

The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 5th: Back to Where We First Met

As a kid, holidays were always met with anticipation coupled with a high level of expectancy. Much like a woman is eager to meet her first child in the womb, is how I felt towards Christmas, Easter, and yes, even Valentine's Day.

Many positive memories accompany each of these holidays. I distinctly remember numerous Christmases where I could not go to sleep for the life of me. I was so excited and wanted to wait up for Santa Claus, yet I inevitably got too tired and fell asleep rather early. I would always wake up several times on Christmas Eve, and go out into the living room and be in awe of the Christmas gifts gently laden under the tree and the chair filled with stockings, overflowing with trinkets, little gifts, and candy.

Easter was similar. My mom always made sure that I had an "egg hunt" outside in our yard, and always took pictures of me. One year, we had an egg hunt at my relative's in Massachusetts and my grandfather rented a bunny suit and I went absolutely ecstatic. I have a lot of good memories of my grandfather. (another post for another day).

By the time February 14th rolled around, my mom always made sure that I had a little basket or a "special bag" filled with anything from hair ties, to sparkly bracelets, to stickers, to scrunchies, to jelly candy hearts. And, forget when I lost a tooth. The "Tooth Fairy," (aka: my mom) would creep quietly into my room and leave me anything from money to a Ty Beanie Baby with a teeny tiny notes and "special fairy dust" all over my pillow and lightly on the floor.

Nowadays, these holidays have lost their "childhood splendor," of being met with high anticipation. Either that, or I'm just getting older! Honestly, some years and holidays, for that matter, seem better than others. Being a working, independent woman, a full-time teacher, recently having put myself through Graduate School, and a homeowner on top of that, brought about a lot of stress and excitement all wrapped into one. I worked and worked and never really thought about the "balance" that I had lost or given up at that point in my life. I was stuck in a routine that was all too familiar and didn't know how to get myself out of it. So, like many who have walked this same path before me, I just remained where I was.

Holidays, like Valentine's Day, are moments within the busy features of our lives that cause us to stop and press the "pause" button. Someday, when "that guy" and I celebrate Valentine's Day, I'd like it to be a time where we can enjoy the presence of each other doing something that we share a similar passion for, whether it's being with kids, cooking, or spending a day at the beach.

Valentine's Day should be a day (everyday, for that matter) for two people to celebrate their love for each other. It should be a day for them to appreciate each other and to remember why they fell for each other in the first place. For me, I'd love to have my man bring me back to the place where we first met year after year so that we can relive those moments together. Dinners at fancy restaurants are nice, but a home cooked meal with candles and soft jazz music also wins my heart, too. Call me "old-fashioned" or "traditional," but I'm the type of woman that doesn't need all of that fancy glitz and glam to "win my heart." Yes, all of that extra addendum is special and nice and should be used at various points during a relationship and marriage (dare I say the "m" word?!). Every lady likes to have an experience out of the ordinary. However, for me, it's the little things, the little moments in life, that I've come to appreciate the most. And the guy who chooses to celebrate those daily life-giving moments and seeks to intertwine his life with mine in the puzzle that we call a relationship, is a guy that is worth knowing, one worth keeping, and one that I want to grow closer to, for years to come.

-as always, from the gluten-free gal,
cheers, my friends!
and good night :)

The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 4th: This is what I'm Searching For...How about you?

Hi Friends,

Thanks for being so faithful in keeping up with these posts. Being a single lady on "Valentine's Day" for several years now, can make one a little sad every now and then. However, it also makes me hopeful for the good and the true and the beautiful in my life that is to come in the future. And honestly, society tells us to "rush" into things all of the time. I've learned that just by patiently waiting, life will unfold in its own time.

With that being said, as a somewhat "patient waitress," so to speak, I've also been told (albeit, many times from many well meaning people), that I need to "get out there." As if I'm Rapunzel, locked away in a castle, away from any guy. Though, I must acknowledge that I love my work and my life as a teacher. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life, and I am hopeful, that someday, I will be able to join alongside a man who won't mind me talking about my work with kids every second of every day (okay, not literally, but you get the idea).

In addition, I am also completely aware that I do need to "get out more." Not that I don't get out and make time for myself outside of work. For the past 1.5 years, I didn't do anything besides going to Graduate school and working. I did not have the right kind of balance in my life (nor any balance for that matter), and did not socialize very much outside of school. It wasn't because I didn't want to, I really truly did - it's just that during that specific time and season of my life, I found myself in a "working place."

Relationships consist of doing more than "going out" or "getting out there" or trying to "find someone." That tactic or strategy is like attempting to search for a needle in a haystack. To me, finding or "locating" a guy, who is the right fit in the puzzle of our lives, will happen when the time is right. I'm grateful for this time that I've had thus far as an independent and single woman; I've learned a great deal about myself that I probably wouldn't have realized or paid attention to had I not been single at this stage of my life.

For the future, I'm looking forward to "sharing" life with a man. I'm eager to learn more about a human being that I'm generally interested in and not just "crushing" on. I'm excited to be challenged to become a better person and also humbled to know that I will have another person who is committed to being my cheerleader and will walk alongside me, in life, every step of the way, even though our journeys will be long, tiresome, exciting, and full of trials and tribulations.

It is my hope that I can find a guy who shares similar passions as I do. I want be as committed to learning about interests that he has portrayed in his life. I hope that a potential guy will see me for who I am, appreciate my honesty, and encourage me to take healthy risks, even when I feel like holding back. I'm looking forward to a man to support me, to hold me, and to correct me when I've been wrong. I'm looking for a man who will still allow me to independent and outspoken, with a sprinkle of "sass." I'm searching the ocean for a gentle man, who is kind and caring, and has a natural way with children. I'm looking for a guy who is good at sports, likes the outdoors, enjoys hikes and nature, animals, and most importantly, the ocean.

I'm looking for a man who is looking for me, who is eager and yet willing to wait for when the time is right. I'm looking for you, my future guy, and I hope, that you're looking for me, too.

The 14 Days of Valentine's Day - Feb. 3: the Commitment Hand-holding

Hi Friends!

Welcome to Post #3, of the 14 Days of Valentine's Day Series. It is my hope that you've been getting the "inside scoop" into this single-gluten free gal's brain about this February "Love-birds" holiday. (On another note, I recently came across a recipe for gluten and dairy free banana bread that I am very eager to try!)

While driving home from work today, I had an epiphany. I realized that women all go for certain "types" of men. Some of them are non-committal, and, as women, we may feel the need to try and "fix" someone who may not necessarily know that he has a problem or want to change for that matter. Sometimes, women find the "mystery" of a guy very attractive. But, it's amazing to me that, sometimes, this "mystery" may be insignificant to the reality of the person who is in front of you. Other times, women don't even realize that a guy is potentially interested in her because we are so accustomed to be on alert for the "perfect guy," that we miss Jeopardy's "daily double," so to speak; the guy who is standing right in front of us.

I feel that social media (of various types and forms), along with the advances of technology, are both positively and negatively affecting women's view of men, particularly the women who find themselves in situations like I do, single for years, especially during this season of love and hearts, mixed with flowers and chocolates. In my opinion, women are negatively affected by social media's stance, perspective, and view on men because it portrays them in a slanted light (almost like skylights), and captures only a minute moment in the daily 24 hour life-of-a-guy. However, when I look at a picture of a guy and girl clearly in love, I am reminded that this sort of love exists, the kind that wraps its arms around its lover and hangs on for eternity. And, it is this love that makes me hopeful for my future, that someday, I may have the opportunity to experience that kind of radical and selfless love, too.

With this commitment of love and promising to be "there" for another person, (wherever "there" is for you), essentially comes the "mystery." Now, I am partial to the guy who is a little mysterious, as you could say, but I am thinking of the word "mystery" in a slightly different context here. This "mystery" occurs when two people have committed themselves to each other with the future unknown. Now, none of us, regardless of our faith backgrounds, know what the future holds. We can attempt to try and "control" it, but even with our best intentions, our efforts fail. With this mystery of the future, comes an equally important "uncertainty." When these two, "mystery" and "uncertainty" meet and join hands, they are committing themselves to Robert Frost's "road less traveled."

It is my hope to find this kind of love someday. It is my hope to experience this kind of love someday. It is my dream to meet a guy who will remind me that my efforts to try and "control" and "map out" and "plan my life" for even the next day or the next week, is fine and dandy, but to also have him balance me out; that is, to encourage me that it's okay to essentially "throw the map out the window and see where you go."

Because sometimes, the journey is just as memorable as the destination.

cheers.

The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Flowers for February 2nd.

To My Chocolate Rose Fans -

When you hear or think of the words "Valentine's Day," what comes to mind? Is it chocolates? Diamonds? A kiss? A fancy restaurant? Flowers? Roses?

Have you ever noticed that the price of flowers, specifically roses, skyrockets during the holidays, especially with Valentine's Day? It's like the florists know that every guy, husband, father, friend, is flocking to the flower shop to buy sweet smelling love for their significant other. They jack the prices way up in order to anticipate high sales. And, at various other holidays during the year, the prices jump a few feet, too. Yet, through the remainder of the year, the price of roses seems to plummet. They're still expensive, but much more reasonable.

Traditionally, flowers have symbolized a variety of things. The color of flowers, like yellow roses, signifies "friendship." Whereas the number of roses, like a dozen red roses, signifies "love." Still, 15 yellow roses represents an "apology."

So, what is it exactly about flowers that causes the female spirit, or anyone for that matter, to get all giddy inside and, even perhaps, blush?

Here are my thoughts from a single gal's hazel eyes:
*Appreciation. Women like to feel that they mean something to their guy.
*Love. Women want to be known and assured that they are loved. Especially in the romantic kind-of-way. Love that is represented in the small and daily ways, that may often come across as insignificant, carry the most weight for me.
*Acceptance. Women want to feel that they are accepted by one main guy instead of a floundering sea of guppies.
* Commitment: Roses/flowers symbolize commitment to a relationship with sincere (hopefully!) thoughts into putting a gal's needs above your own.
*Hope: Ladies, we like to be hopeful. It's important not to "right off" every guy that comes along. Yes, there are some petty piranhas out there, but for every one of those pointy shaped teeth fish, there are beautiful, majestic dolphins, swimming in their midst. It's just important to keep hoping, never give up, and always know that you deserve the best.

cheers.

Through a Single Gal's Eyes, the 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Post #1: Dating

Dear Readers,

As you can tell - it is past January 26 and I never finished the "27 Things" Series. I turned another year older and I confronted this challenging month head-on, learning life-lessons from experiences that a specific "list" would never fulfill.

Anyway, as a newly 27-year-old, single, and unattached (at least at the present time) to any guy, I thought about the recently upcoming Valentine's Day holiday. The idea for these posts came from a movie that recently aired on the Hallmark Channel (I know, I know - cheesy!), about a female journalist who is instructed to write Valentine's Day columns for each day leading up to February 14th. She specifically focuses on the various aspects of the holiday, as a lady who doesn't actually "embrace" the whole romantic side of life. She succeeds in writing the columns and ends up with the guy at the conclusion of the movie (spoiler alert!)

As I sat there watching the movie, I thought to myself, "I should do a series along those lines about Valentine's Day." And, I should put a spin on it from a single gal's point-of-view. So, without further ado, here is the first post: "Dating."

I recently had this happen to me tonight. Of which, I turned the whole thing down. Ladies, we have the innate intuition inside of us that allows us to have an understanding of situations from a woman's perspective. When something doesn't feel right or completely feels awkward, it's okay to say "no." Of course, you should let down "said guy" gently and try not to, as the movie I previously mentioned said, "right off every guy." In other words, "you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." And, to be completely honest, that "prince" is probably not going to appear on a white groomed horse in a shining knight suit, to sweep you off your feet.

Any relationship, should start off with, in my opinion, as friends who are coupled by the truth in getting to know each other. Yes, there will be times when you're trying to impress that other person that you've developed an interest in. However, your time together should be grounded on basic principles of respect, maturity, understanding, and above all else, getting to know each other. A date should be something that allows you and the other person "space" to share about each other in a comfortable environment and atmosphere, while at the same time - surrounded by the notion that you're both "together" at that particular place and time because you're interested in each other.

With that, it's important not to "feign" interest. So many times, I have "hid" my crushes for fear that things "could" go somewhere or had the "potential" to, all because my fear of "succeeding was greater than my fear of failure (also another quote, though I forget by whom). Dates allow us the time to get to know another human being through a common or a shared interest. They also allow us to explore the mind and the interests of another individual, while allowing us a mirror to look in to ourselves. Through dating another person, we say that we are ready to put someone else first while at the same time, getting to know ourselves in a new way. Dating is a time of exploration, and uncertainty, commitment, and phobias, all with an individual who is equally (hopefully!) as interested in us as we are with them.

So, to all of the "single-guy's/gal's" out there who are reading this, and even those who are married, get to know your date.

Cheers!

The "27 Things" Series Continues; of Breakfast, Silence, and Sleep

Hi Faithful Readers and Friends,

So, last night I was so exhausted that I went to bed early. Ever have one of those days when you were just so overcome with tiredness and a sleepy feeling, that you needed to obey your body and just go to bed? Well, that was how I felt last night. As a teacher, I am always working. My sleep schedule changes from day to day; sometimes I go to bed at 9, while other times I go to bed at 11:30pm. One of the things that I need to work on in this new year is having a regular sleep schedule. Science has shown that sleeping well and for the recommended amount of hours per night, leads to better health, eating patterns, and overall positive mood throughout the day.

Along with that, I am still learning how to incorporate "balance" in my life. There was a time (believe it or not), when I did not submerse myself in work 24/7. Before I went back to school to earn my Graduate Degree, I remembered having a life full of balance, education, and even a social life (what is that nowadays?!) During Graduate School, I would come home and plan lessons for teaching the following day and on the weekends, do my school work. I had like 1% of a social life.

Now, I am starting to learn how to slowly welcome a social life and balance back into my everyday routine. I have to admit, at first, I was nervous. For so long, I was so used to having structure, a plan, and a focus, that not going to school on a Thursday night and not working at the coffee shop every Saturday and Sunday, scared me. Well, maybe not scared me like a Haunted House kind-of-scary, but rather like a "I'm-not-sure-what's-next-kind-of-scary."

And, these past couple of days with my goals for this "27 Things" series of January have allowed me to reinstate some of that structure and routine into my life. I do have to admit, I like just coming home and prepping my lessons and teaching materials for the following day at school and not having to balance both college level work and a full-time job work. I am grateful for that point in my life where I had the opportunity to do both. And, I do know that I will return back to college someday - for further education. However, incorporating small term goals, such as accomplishing one thing every day for the month of January leading up to my birthday - has paved the way for me to have some kind of semblance in my life, while allowing some wiggle room for spontaneity.

So, though I got up very early over the weekend and made myself a home cooked breakfast (I love scrambled eggs and eggs over hard!) - I failed to do that yesterday. However, I did get up for 6:00am and had some Multigrain Gluten-Free Cheerios with Lactaid Free Milk...which was amazing! That small amount of time in the morning, where I allow myself an extra hour or so to "putter around," wake up, and get ready for the day, is important to me. I've even noticed that I have pockets of my day (albeit small as they are) 5-10 minutes a piece, where it is quiet, whether I am walking from my classroom to the office or tidying up my room, or even the drive into work in the morning. I've learned to embrace those times, such as when I come in early to work in the morning, because those moments are precious. It is a time where I can get some work done, gather my thoughts, review lessons and plans for the day, make copies, and catch up with teachers. It's those minute periods of time that I've learned to appreciate the most that occur both during the week and on the weekends.

With that, I've also decided to take a short hiatus from "social media" for the next five days. So, if you are a regular reader and looking for updates on the latest confessions of what this "single, gluten-free gal" has been up to, then be sure to check here!

Part 6 is coming soon,
to a blog near you.

Until then -
cheers, my friends!

-alex

"27 Things Series": January 3: Notes of Encouragement

Today, I learned that we have the opportunity to leave notes of encouragement everyday in a variety of places. They can be handwritten, spoken, presented in the form of a gift, or a combination of all three. Encouraging words are one of the most powerful things that human beings have the power to hold.

This week, I am planning on starting a month long social studies theme on Martin Luther King Jr. The children's book, "Martin's Big Words," showcases a timeline of his life, with beautiful illustrations, accompanied with quotes and phrases that he spoke during his lifetime. One of the phrases that he is quoted as saying is a personal favorite of mine: "Hate does not drive out hate. Only love can do that."

Only words with the background intention of love can change people, thoughts, ideas, concepts, customs, etc. Love can encourage and uplift people through a variety of means, by giving a sandwich to a friend when they are hungry, by offering a hug when a co-worker is stressed, and by making a dear friend laugh. Notes/words of encouragement are expressed in different ways depending upon the expressor and the expression that such a person wishes to send to the second party.

Today, I thought that I had failed in leaving a "note of encouragement in a random place." However, as I reflect back on today, I realized that I left my "notes of encouragement" in a few different ways today. I surprised my parents with small gifts: hand lotion for my mom and sparkly cleaned dishware for my dad that he let me borrow last week. I unintentionally encouraged the cashier at Barnes and Noble when I shared that I was a teacher and had to go back to work tomorrow and she said that she was a Bus Monitor and understood that feeling of waking up early, too.

So, though my "notes of encouragement" were presented more with actions than with writing today, I learned that the act of "encouraging" itself, is quite priceless and free. When we think we have to provide "material possessions" (and sometimes, we do), we may need to reassess how we can encourage and provide support to those in need (for free.)

cheers!
-alex

27 Things Series: January 2 - a lesson on the prefix "re"

Hi Again,

It's me, Alex. So goes this "27 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 27" series, parte dos. Yesterday, I painted my nails. Today, I went to the gym. Oh, the irony! I wrote that I wanted to work out for 4 consecutive days,. Well, to be perfectly honest, I went to the gym on Friday, too - so, "technically," I'm actually one day ahead on this "27 things" list.

For the past 18 months (1.5 years), I focused my effort on obtaining my Masters Degree and less on working out. Granted, I still maintained a routine of exercising 4-5 days a week by walking and running around my neighborhood. However, I was so incredibly stressed with trying to balance the full-time work as a teacher along with the full-time work of being a Graduate Student, that I often found myself getting very sick. My immune system was on overload and I wasn't allowing my body (nor listening to it, for that matter), time to rest, to recover, and to rebuild.

Life is kind of like that. It has a funny way of showing me that I always need to embrace that process of resting, of recovering, and ultimately, of rebuilding. God shares in his Word that a man who builds his house on rock has more support than the man who builds his house on sand. It lasts longer and the foundation on which the house on rock is built, is very different than the one on sand. Sandcastles don't last very long when they're near the water :)

As I look back on my life, specifically - my early to mid-twenties, I've realized that there have been instances where I have built my house on sand. I've been "that girl," trying to maintain balance and control, running around my neighborhood, without any "notion" of where I wanted to ultimately end up. Life requires so much more than aimless running, up and down hills, across all kinds of terrain. Life requires that kind of determination that I know is inside of me. It is that kind of perseverance that I need to reach down and pull out from my innermost being, to awaken it again. It is the kind that I used to have about a year and a half ago - when I was at the gym 6-7 days a week for an hour or more. I stretched and I pulled. I did dead bugs and lifted weights and worked on my favorite machine, the AMT.

Reigniting this passion for exercise and health once again, is like riding a bike. Now that I am finished with Graduate School, this task combines a mixture of emotional ingredients for me. I feel excited and joyful, while at the same time, knowing it takes a self-determination and constant dedication to succeed at building a routine. One of my high school teachers once told me that it takes "six weeks to build a habit."

It also requires that I know my body well - and, after multiple times of losing my voice and searching for it, like a man who has lost his best pearl - I understand now what it means to "know" my body well. I know its limits and how far I can push them.

A great artist is one that knows when it is time to stop painting. I now know that I require time to stop, to pause, to rest, and to reflect on a daily basis. Furthermore, we all need a day in our week to "rest" and to cease from working. My difficulty in the past resided in the reality that I did not listen, nor follow my advice and that is what caused me to miss out on truly resting.

Along with resting, is recovering. Science has proven that when we sleep and when we "take a necessary break" from any sort of work (like the gym), our bodies recover. This means that they work to repair, to rest, and to provide us with the nutrients that we need to collect our thoughts and to focus on the present moment. Here's another honest moment for you: sometimes, I am so caught up with living in the day, that I forget and/or cease to live in the moment and enjoy "that moment" for all that it is.

Resting from the gym, especially after I have established a routine once again, is challenging for me. As mentioned in my post from yesterday, I work, A LOT. It's hard to pull back, reflect, refocus, and not have structure. Planning and mapping out my days/weeks are a part of my life and taking a step (well, sometimes many steps backwards) to reassess the bigger picture forces me to submit and to say "I can't do it on my own and I need help."

Here's another way of looking at recovering. I have worn glasses since I was in first grade. So, I have been wearing them for over 20 years. Wow, time certainly does fly. Every night, I allow my eyes a chance to recover when I take off my glasses to sleep. I give my eyes a chance to rest from providing a necessary resource for me, that is, the ability to see, albeit with help. As such, when I work out, I need to be sensitive to my body, know when to push myself, and know when to hold back. That kind of sensitivity and understanding, comes with time, and we are always working towards knowing it better.

In a way, exercising and resting my eyes is kind of like doing a waltz. In college, I was part of a ballroom dance club for one semester. Waltzing with a guy requires that you know him, and his movements. You are in step with him, following his lead, across a solid oak floor. At times, it feels like you two are the only ones out there, under a sea of spot lights, capturing the moment of two people moving with their bodies, conveying a message of hope, joy, and love, however cliché that all may sound.

With rest and recovery comes one more facet, that is, the brick of rebuilding. Rebuilding suggests that something had to be broken or devastated before in order for it to be remade. In college, I traveled with a group of my friends from the northeast to New Orleans, Louisiana for two spring breaks to help rebuild homes from Hurricane Katrina. My first year that I went on the trip, I got really sick. Again, I was still learning about the process of listening to my body. I lost my voice and learned how to rebuild houses with a whisper. But, during that time, I also learned how to listen to the people who inhabited the homes that Hurricane Katrina took away. In the Lower Ninth Ward, the devastation was mind blowing. Homes were completely turned over and memories were lost, just like a set of stairs that led to nowhere, in an empty field, with memories strewn out of a vacant house, just across the way.

It was in the south, that I learned about the process of rebuilding. My heart was transformed when I listened to the locals songs and stories of the hurricane. I was amazed that many continued to stay and rebuild not only their homes, but their lives as well. Yes, old material possessions were gone, but new memories were being put on the mantle and hung up on newly painted walls.

Recently, I've learned that material things are often attached to memories. It's hard to say "no" to material things that have brought so much joy over the years, especially when there is a strong memory or a group of memories attached to them. It is so easy for someone to say "at least you have a home or an apartment," or "you can always rebuild," typical responses following a catastrophe or life-altering event. Yes, I can rebuild the home and buy new things, but it's the memories associated with what was there that cannot be replaced, repurchased, or reframed. In times like these, coping with a loss has taught me to always, always preserve the memories in order to keep them alive.

As such, when I go to the gym, I tend to keep to myself. I have made friends within my small fitness community, and for that, I am grateful. I've learned to be more independent and to throw the timidity over my shoulder like a sweat rag when I go to lift weights with a bunch of guys that are much taller and muscular than my 5 foot, petite Italian frame. I've learned to become a woman that knows what she wants and will march right in to get the 15 pound weight. With that, I've also learned how to take a step back and to dead life, waiting until the time is right to pursue a beautiful endeavor that is crafted into a colorful mosaic of stretch bands and slam balls.

Cheers!
-alex

27 Things Series: January 1

Well, folks.

As promised, here is my first post of the "27 Things" Series. For January 1st, I wrote that I wanted to paint my nails.

So, tonight, I did just that. I painted my nails this subtly light pinky sparkly color. I know, I know. Too many describing words, but alas, that is the teacher in me. Over the years, I've learned that it is very hard for me sit still after I apply that first coat of polish. I am like a child, eagerly awaiting Christmas morning, excited to see the presents under the tree. And, by the time the second coat of "Picture Perfect Pink" is applied, I am the child jumping on my parents' bed at 4:30am in the morning, unable to contain my excitement.

My grandmother was always the best when it came to getting a manicure and waiting for the polish to dry. She would sit at her kitchen table, her fingers out, as I painted them. I don't know how she sat there, waiting for each fingernail to dry. Never once did she chip a nail, unlike me - who is ready to get up and go even when "things are still wet."

I've experienced that latter mentality in life, you know, the "eagerness" to "just go," even when "things are still wet" and waiting to dry. As a teenager, I just wanted to go and go, like the Energizer Bunny. Though I was shy, even during my English classes and would rarely raise my hand to provide an answer when called upon, the innermost parts of me, were leaping like a frog, from lily pad to lily pad.

As an adult, I find the actual part of "waiting," much easier. In fact, I've coined myself with the term "the waiter," or rather, "the waitress." Waiting comes easy to me, because for 26 years, I've waited and worked for all that I have. Yet, when it comes to relationships, particularly those with men, I wait and wait. My friends, especially those who are close to me, say that I should "take risks" (albeit, healthy), and "put myself out there." Yet, as an independent woman, I've realized that I've become used to "sniffing" out the imposter guys; the ones dressed in suits and who seem to have their whole life together. Their clothes are pressed with a flat iron, their words are all strung together so intricately like a string of those aforementioned Christmas lights, and their solid black shoes convey a stunning reflection of themselves. I was confused by their appearances at first, often falling for my "crushes" but refusing to follow them for real, knowing deep down in my being that they were wearing a façade of societal obligations.

Now, I've realized that its the men that come by unexpectedly, the ones that don't necessarily follow all of the customs and rules and routines that society has traditionally mapped out for them; the ones that are genuine and innately natural, those are the ones that I remember the most. They convey the simple things in life and sometimes, plaid shirts are easier to manage than pressed business suits.

Anyway, all of this over painting my nails.
:)

Cheers, friends - and may you have a happy, and healthy New Year!
Stay tuned for Post # 2, coming tomorrow.

-alex