I bet that every girl has written "that list" before. You know, "the list," ladies - the one that usually begins with something along the lines of "The Things I Want in a Man." At one point or another in our lives, I can honestly say that I've fashioned at least two or three of these lists; one as a young girl, one as a teenager, and now one as an adult. And, the funny thing is, as I get older, my list gets shorter and shorter and the points become more and more abstract.
When I was in high school, I was encouraged to chronicle the "traits" or "characteristics" that I looked for in a future man. At that point in a young 16 year-old-girl's life, we're thinking about appearances, height, hair color, athleticism, etc. We're not even thinking about debt, student loans, has a good job, etc. But, by the time we're adults, ladies, I reckon that some of these "essential qualifications" begin to change.
I recently came across my most updated "list" that I compiled when I took a road trip up to New Hampshire with a couple of friends. I completely forgot that I had it, until I sat down with my journal to write tonight. As I sat there holding my "list for a future man," I realized that as women, (well, as a teacher, really) I am so accustomed to lists and to checking things off in a box to get them accomplished, that I sometimes inadvertently apply the same process to finding a man.
This is not to say that we shouldn't know what we are looking for in a potential mate. All of us have those "deal-breakers" or things that we can just live without. Growing up, I wouldn't give a second look to a guy who had a tattoo. Now, it's not as a big deal for me (depending upon how many and their location :)) Instincts are very important when it comes to relationships and dating. A potential future interest should spark some curiosity and amazement, wonder and joy within you, without giving too much of himself or herself away.
As a twenty-something young woman, I reflect back on my list often. I also understand that my "list" has drastically decreased from over 20 items as a teenage girl to now 4 (Significant change, huh?)
Bet you're all wondering what's on that list, right? Well, you're in luck - because I'm going to share it with you.
In my current, updated, 2.0 version of "a list for a future man," I am seeking a guy that displays his attractiveness in the heart (but, physically wouldn't be too shabby to look at, too.) A man who can take stock of the things that he is passionate about and the areas of his life that drive him to do well, adds more fuel to the fire of love and relationships. The guy that I am looking for shouldn't just be considered "eye candy," but should have an honest and humble way about him that causes him to be attractive. For some people, their "attractiveness" is fueled by the way in which they help kids, for others, it's the way that they navigate the waters of Wall Street or a Fortune 500 Company. As for me, I am of the simple and traditional kind that attractiveness should extend beyond the "physical" and into the realm of the world.
Secondly, I want my man to have a healthy dose of humor. That is, he should be able to make me laugh - not by trying but by having an innate and natural ability to cause the people around him to laugh at appropriate times. He should have a good sense of humor and know how to balance that with a tone of seriousness when the time calls for it.
Third, the potential mate should have some "unstructuredness" in him to balance out my need for "structure" and routines. That is to say that the guy needs to be able to encourage me to "slow down" and embrace not having a "list" and "throwing the road map out the window" every once in a while. He needs to be able to show me that sometimes, we cannot plan for life and its obstacles and must create our own and embrace those trials and triumphs that come our way. He must also remind me that I needn't be "in control" all of the time and reassure me that for those times in which I am not in control, that life, and the circumstances which surround it, will be okay.
Finally, (and this is a personal preference of mine), the guy should be tall and good at nighttime driving. I know you're asking me why I am looking for a man that is taller than this girl who has not grown an inch since she was in the fifth grade. Well, I often have difficulty reaching my favorite frozen butternut squash in the freezer aisle at the grocery store and often have to use a pair of salad tongs to reach it. When I reach for the dishes in my house or am trying to get glassware down from the cupboard, more often than not, I am trying to find inventive ways to bring them to my level. (It's not easy being 5 feet, but It's not something that I regret either.) And forget if I accidentally pull the kitchen shade up too high! Now, I have to use a fork or a long spook to pull it down. Doing the laundry also poses another problem in itself. If I don't wear my clogs that add at least another 1.5 to 2 inches or heels to reach into the washing machine, then I struggle to get the clothes out. Now, I'm not saying that a man who is tall will "magically" solve all of these obstacles, but what I am hinting at is the fact that this last piece would be the "icing on the cake" so to speak. And, what about the cherry, you ask? Well, I use it as decoration, but I'm not really a fan of cherries, so if he likes those too, then I can just give it to him.
What's on your "list?" If you are married, did you ever form one? Did it change throughout the course of your dating life, single life, etc.? Any advice you'd recommend to this single, gluten free gal?
-cheers!
Monday, February 15, 2016
Sunday, February 14, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 14th
Dear Faithful Readers,
Well, today is the day: February 14th, Valentine's Day! And, as such, my last blog post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series.
Today was the first Valentine's Day in which I didn't feel sorry for myself about not having a "significant other" to celebrate the day with. In fact, I was gently reminded (in many ways over the past 14 days) of how loved I already am. For example, I am both grateful and thankful that I have two wonderful and loving parents who support me in both my career and in my personal life. I am blessed to have an "extended single life," as I think I may start calling it, in order to be able to appreciate my parents, spend more time with them, and learn about myself.
Second, I am able to learn how to care for myself and incorporate the activities that I like into my daily life. Today, I took myself to the coffee shop (yet, again for it is my second home), read the newspaper and dove right into Ernest Hemingway's book, The Sun Also Rises. Hemingway has a natural ebb and flow to his writing that makes it so easy to read and yet so hard to put down. The dichotomy of being such an incredible writer and author is amazing. There is a part of the book where he lets us into the lives of Jake and Lady Brett. Their conversation is a peculiar one about love, as stated in this following excerpt:
"It's funny," I said. "It's very funny. And, it's a lot of fun, too, to be in love."
"Do you think so?" Her eyes looked flat again.
"I don't mean fun that way. It's an enjoyable feeling."
For Valentine's Day, society has altered the human race into "thinking" or "believing" for that matter, that love is all about the "romantic" kind. However, we fail to realize the other types of love that are around us on a daily basis, such as the love for our neighbors, the familial love, the friend love, etc.
Love is so much more than that. I know that someday, I will experience the romantic side of love. I always thought that would come in the city, and the state that I live in, that is, Providence, RI. Yet, an article published in today's Providence Journal has indicated maybe it's not me, but the "numbers" as the writer had shared. Written by Jenna Pelletier, Journal Staff Writer for the Journal, "Providence is the second-worst dating city in the country for young, college-educated women seeking a college-educated man." Either more men should come to RI or I should pack my suitcases and jet off to California, where the male population seems a little more promising. (haha) You can read the full article by clicking here: love article
Along similar lines, Mark Patinkin writes a wonderfully hilarious commentary, that you can find, and that you should absolutely read, here. He writes that when women say "don't bother," they absolutely mean "bother." He also writes that "...if you get women a Crock-Pot or Swiffer on Valentine's Day it's a war crime." Then, he shares a tidbit of information amidst the amusement: "I suppose the difference is women measure affection by what you buy them. One told me it counts against you if you get roses at the grocery instead of at a florist - even if they're identical. That's a lot of pressure."
And so, my friends, I leave you with the last blog post of Valentine's Day 2016. May you know just how loved and appreciated you already are, whether you're single, in a relationship, engaged, recently broken up, married, widowed, etc. We all deserve to experience love and it is my hope that you experience is this year.
-cheers!
Well, today is the day: February 14th, Valentine's Day! And, as such, my last blog post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series.
Today was the first Valentine's Day in which I didn't feel sorry for myself about not having a "significant other" to celebrate the day with. In fact, I was gently reminded (in many ways over the past 14 days) of how loved I already am. For example, I am both grateful and thankful that I have two wonderful and loving parents who support me in both my career and in my personal life. I am blessed to have an "extended single life," as I think I may start calling it, in order to be able to appreciate my parents, spend more time with them, and learn about myself.
Second, I am able to learn how to care for myself and incorporate the activities that I like into my daily life. Today, I took myself to the coffee shop (yet, again for it is my second home), read the newspaper and dove right into Ernest Hemingway's book, The Sun Also Rises. Hemingway has a natural ebb and flow to his writing that makes it so easy to read and yet so hard to put down. The dichotomy of being such an incredible writer and author is amazing. There is a part of the book where he lets us into the lives of Jake and Lady Brett. Their conversation is a peculiar one about love, as stated in this following excerpt:
"It's funny," I said. "It's very funny. And, it's a lot of fun, too, to be in love."
"Do you think so?" Her eyes looked flat again.
"I don't mean fun that way. It's an enjoyable feeling."
For Valentine's Day, society has altered the human race into "thinking" or "believing" for that matter, that love is all about the "romantic" kind. However, we fail to realize the other types of love that are around us on a daily basis, such as the love for our neighbors, the familial love, the friend love, etc.
Love is so much more than that. I know that someday, I will experience the romantic side of love. I always thought that would come in the city, and the state that I live in, that is, Providence, RI. Yet, an article published in today's Providence Journal has indicated maybe it's not me, but the "numbers" as the writer had shared. Written by Jenna Pelletier, Journal Staff Writer for the Journal, "Providence is the second-worst dating city in the country for young, college-educated women seeking a college-educated man." Either more men should come to RI or I should pack my suitcases and jet off to California, where the male population seems a little more promising. (haha) You can read the full article by clicking here: love article
Along similar lines, Mark Patinkin writes a wonderfully hilarious commentary, that you can find, and that you should absolutely read, here. He writes that when women say "don't bother," they absolutely mean "bother." He also writes that "...if you get women a Crock-Pot or Swiffer on Valentine's Day it's a war crime." Then, he shares a tidbit of information amidst the amusement: "I suppose the difference is women measure affection by what you buy them. One told me it counts against you if you get roses at the grocery instead of at a florist - even if they're identical. That's a lot of pressure."
And so, my friends, I leave you with the last blog post of Valentine's Day 2016. May you know just how loved and appreciated you already are, whether you're single, in a relationship, engaged, recently broken up, married, widowed, etc. We all deserve to experience love and it is my hope that you experience is this year.
-cheers!
Saturday, February 13, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: February 13
Dear Readers,
This is the second to last post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I've learned a lot about myself within these past 13 days, and know that I will continue to learn about life, love, romance, and the world throughout my life. Committing myself to writing a post everyday has also been soothing for me. It has caused me to revisit that part of my life that misses and desires to write. It has taught me to lay all of my thoughts out there, whether it's typing behind a computer screen or writing in a journal, or jotting down some thoughts on a sticky note or a napkin at the local coffee shop. Writing is a way of life for me and I'm glad that I was able to "stick to it" in order to make it a healthy habit. It is my hope that in this Lenten season (for 40 days), I will be able to continue the writing process, faithfully, everyday or every couple of days - in order to write, process, and share my thoughts.
Today, I allowed my mind to wander while treating myself to some long-desired things that I enjoy. I took a drive to Chepachet, RI with the intention of going to Brown and Hopkins Country Store (the oldest country store!) and the Town Trader Antiques (I found an amethyst candy dish). Whenever I need some time to think, I somehow end up there. It's a good 20-25 minute drive and it's a beautiful ride filled with green pastures and farmland (at least in the spring and summer months!). So, I visited both places and then decided to check out a new destination, The Purple Cat.
The Purple Cat is a beautiful, hardwood floor, open beam kinda-place. It was the first time in a very long time that I felt relaxed, as I sat and listened to live acoustic music and piano renditions of oldies songs, with a warm cup of black coffee with honey nestled between my hands. I learned that they make gluten and dairy free crepes, all by asking- so I had a dessert one with bananas, strawberries, cinnamon, and sugar! Do you know how long it's been since I had a crepe?! It was amazing and so wonderfully satisfying!
I had no schedule and no place to be, so I was able to enjoy the two hours that I found myself sitting at that hardwood table with the word "eat" etched into it. It's a place that I definitely want to come back to in the near future. I forgot how much I love to listen to live music and the place would be a wonderful venue for an event someday.
Anyway, I learned that as a "single gluten free gal" there are areas of my life where I need to branch out and spread my wings. I can be like the squirrel who buries his food under the ground and then may forget where he put it, or, I can be like the tufted titmouse bird, who comes back to the tree where it's provided with food, because it knows that bird seed with dried fruit is waiting for it.
Most times, I am like the squirrel, especially when it comes to men. I used to be incredibly shy. Now, I see more "bird-like" qualities in me. This petite tufted titmouse feels free flying to new places to explore and try an assortment of bird food. She also feels excited when she makes time for herself, because it's in those moments that you're not just caring for others, but finding solace, balance and joy in healthfully caring for yourself, too.
This is the second to last post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I've learned a lot about myself within these past 13 days, and know that I will continue to learn about life, love, romance, and the world throughout my life. Committing myself to writing a post everyday has also been soothing for me. It has caused me to revisit that part of my life that misses and desires to write. It has taught me to lay all of my thoughts out there, whether it's typing behind a computer screen or writing in a journal, or jotting down some thoughts on a sticky note or a napkin at the local coffee shop. Writing is a way of life for me and I'm glad that I was able to "stick to it" in order to make it a healthy habit. It is my hope that in this Lenten season (for 40 days), I will be able to continue the writing process, faithfully, everyday or every couple of days - in order to write, process, and share my thoughts.
Today, I allowed my mind to wander while treating myself to some long-desired things that I enjoy. I took a drive to Chepachet, RI with the intention of going to Brown and Hopkins Country Store (the oldest country store!) and the Town Trader Antiques (I found an amethyst candy dish). Whenever I need some time to think, I somehow end up there. It's a good 20-25 minute drive and it's a beautiful ride filled with green pastures and farmland (at least in the spring and summer months!). So, I visited both places and then decided to check out a new destination, The Purple Cat.
The Purple Cat is a beautiful, hardwood floor, open beam kinda-place. It was the first time in a very long time that I felt relaxed, as I sat and listened to live acoustic music and piano renditions of oldies songs, with a warm cup of black coffee with honey nestled between my hands. I learned that they make gluten and dairy free crepes, all by asking- so I had a dessert one with bananas, strawberries, cinnamon, and sugar! Do you know how long it's been since I had a crepe?! It was amazing and so wonderfully satisfying!
I had no schedule and no place to be, so I was able to enjoy the two hours that I found myself sitting at that hardwood table with the word "eat" etched into it. It's a place that I definitely want to come back to in the near future. I forgot how much I love to listen to live music and the place would be a wonderful venue for an event someday.
Anyway, I learned that as a "single gluten free gal" there are areas of my life where I need to branch out and spread my wings. I can be like the squirrel who buries his food under the ground and then may forget where he put it, or, I can be like the tufted titmouse bird, who comes back to the tree where it's provided with food, because it knows that bird seed with dried fruit is waiting for it.
Most times, I am like the squirrel, especially when it comes to men. I used to be incredibly shy. Now, I see more "bird-like" qualities in me. This petite tufted titmouse feels free flying to new places to explore and try an assortment of bird food. She also feels excited when she makes time for herself, because it's in those moments that you're not just caring for others, but finding solace, balance and joy in healthfully caring for yourself, too.
Friday, February 12, 2016
February 12th - An Open Letter to the "Friend" Who Sent Me a Package
Dear Friend,
Today, I came home from a very challenging day at work. Ever have those days where things just seem so difficult, no matter how hard you try? Well, today was one of those days. It was a long day. I knew it was going to be a trying day when I accidentally slammed my shoulder into one of those stacked cases that are like 5.5ft tall. (It still hurts as I'm typing this.)
I woke up at 4:45am, stayed at school late (we had early dismissal), and then went to tutor. I came home just as the sun was setting, a reminder that days have a beginning and an ending. I saw your package and opened it up on the counter.
There was no return address but the handwriting looked so familiar. I opened it up to find a wonderful assortment of "teacher things." Thank you for the notecards, paperclips, mouse pad papers, and those other trinkets that you had sent. Your envelope slipped out and I saw my name "Alex." Again, your handwriting had that same familiarity to it. I recognized your writing but can't seem to put my finger on exactly which friend you are.
Nevertheless, your note reminded me that I am never alone, that God loves me and that if I keep pressing forward, He will give me the desires of my heart in time.
Your package arrived to me at exactly the moment that I needed it.
I wish I knew which friend you were to say "thank you." But, I just have to take comfort in knowing that your kind, and thoughtful gesture made my day.
With your kindness, I also realized that when I finally have a future relationship with a guy, I will have to be "okay" with not being "in control," "having a plan," and allowing another person to care for me "just because." I'm so used to doing things for other people, that it felt different being on the "receiving" side. Today, receiving your package is what I needed.
So, from one "Sister in Christ" to another,
Thank You.
Alex
Today, I came home from a very challenging day at work. Ever have those days where things just seem so difficult, no matter how hard you try? Well, today was one of those days. It was a long day. I knew it was going to be a trying day when I accidentally slammed my shoulder into one of those stacked cases that are like 5.5ft tall. (It still hurts as I'm typing this.)
I woke up at 4:45am, stayed at school late (we had early dismissal), and then went to tutor. I came home just as the sun was setting, a reminder that days have a beginning and an ending. I saw your package and opened it up on the counter.
There was no return address but the handwriting looked so familiar. I opened it up to find a wonderful assortment of "teacher things." Thank you for the notecards, paperclips, mouse pad papers, and those other trinkets that you had sent. Your envelope slipped out and I saw my name "Alex." Again, your handwriting had that same familiarity to it. I recognized your writing but can't seem to put my finger on exactly which friend you are.
Nevertheless, your note reminded me that I am never alone, that God loves me and that if I keep pressing forward, He will give me the desires of my heart in time.
Your package arrived to me at exactly the moment that I needed it.
I wish I knew which friend you were to say "thank you." But, I just have to take comfort in knowing that your kind, and thoughtful gesture made my day.
With your kindness, I also realized that when I finally have a future relationship with a guy, I will have to be "okay" with not being "in control," "having a plan," and allowing another person to care for me "just because." I'm so used to doing things for other people, that it felt different being on the "receiving" side. Today, receiving your package is what I needed.
So, from one "Sister in Christ" to another,
Thank You.
Alex
Thursday, February 11, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: February 11th: My Top 5 Places to Have "That" Romantic Meal
Hi Friends,
Well, I'm back on track with my "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I can't believe it's been 11 days of posts already. Thank you for your continued support in reading. Only 3 more days left until the big "Valentine's Day!"
Anyway, as I was driving home from work yesterday - I realized that I was hungry. After a long working day - my stomach was feeling the "hunger vibes." I was craving anything and everything - but then finally settled on Chinese food - complete with an assortment of vegetables. Moo Goo Gain Pan is my favorite! Small pieces of chicken sautéed and tossed with broccoli, bok choy, water chestnuts, and pea pods.
Speaking of which: here are my top 5 restaurants you should try with that "special someone."
1. The Old Canteen (Providence, RI). Okay, I'm Italian and this is my favorite restaurant. It's nice to dress up once in a while and go out, and that's exactly what you have to do at this fancy place. I also have a pink blazer this matches the walls inside, which is another reason why it's a top spot for me. They serve the best 7 course meal and it's filled with so many memories for me. Located right by the "pineapple" on Federal Hill, it's sure not to disappoint!
2. Quito's Seafood Restaurant (Bristol, RI). They are located right on the water in Bristol, at the end of East Bay Bike Path. One summer, my friend and I ran and rollerbladed on this path. I made the mistake of using my rollerblades from when I was in the fifth grade. They still fit, but the padding inside was worn and I had blisters for days!!! If I was to rollerblade again, I'd totally buy new ones. Quito's has the best jumbo sea scallops and it's the only place where I can have French fries that are cooked in their own fry pan. It's beautiful in April, May and in the breezy summer months.
3. Public Kitchen (downtown Providence) right next to The Vets. It's a great place to eat after watching a show in that beautifully restored building! Public has a giant spiral staircase leading into the main room and it's so regal and just simple. I get lost in the bathrooms because they are incredibly huge, and the experience is memorable.
4. Providence G (G Pub) - Orange Street in Providence. This place is wonderful! My favorite part is the rooftop. It's the place to be in the summer, to watch the sun set on the roof. It's relaxing and reminds you of just how small we are compared to the world. And let me tell you, the sunsets from that roof are amazing. It's a little pricey, but you're paying for the ambiance and beauty of an amazing experience.
5. Which brings me to number 5. As you look out from the roof at the Providence G, you will spot the red sign of the "Biltmore" staring back. It's beautiful and has a personal significance for me.
It's important to know that any place/restaurant with music (particularly jazz), is a plus for me!
But aside, from these recommendations - the best place to be with your "significant other" or that "dreamy guy" that you like, is the place where you two have established a connection. It's a place where you both feel comfortable and call home. And, it's at that place where you should celebrate your love, appreciation, and value for each other this February 14th.
-until tomorrow, friends.
cheers!
Well, I'm back on track with my "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I can't believe it's been 11 days of posts already. Thank you for your continued support in reading. Only 3 more days left until the big "Valentine's Day!"
Anyway, as I was driving home from work yesterday - I realized that I was hungry. After a long working day - my stomach was feeling the "hunger vibes." I was craving anything and everything - but then finally settled on Chinese food - complete with an assortment of vegetables. Moo Goo Gain Pan is my favorite! Small pieces of chicken sautéed and tossed with broccoli, bok choy, water chestnuts, and pea pods.
Speaking of which: here are my top 5 restaurants you should try with that "special someone."
1. The Old Canteen (Providence, RI). Okay, I'm Italian and this is my favorite restaurant. It's nice to dress up once in a while and go out, and that's exactly what you have to do at this fancy place. I also have a pink blazer this matches the walls inside, which is another reason why it's a top spot for me. They serve the best 7 course meal and it's filled with so many memories for me. Located right by the "pineapple" on Federal Hill, it's sure not to disappoint!
2. Quito's Seafood Restaurant (Bristol, RI). They are located right on the water in Bristol, at the end of East Bay Bike Path. One summer, my friend and I ran and rollerbladed on this path. I made the mistake of using my rollerblades from when I was in the fifth grade. They still fit, but the padding inside was worn and I had blisters for days!!! If I was to rollerblade again, I'd totally buy new ones. Quito's has the best jumbo sea scallops and it's the only place where I can have French fries that are cooked in their own fry pan. It's beautiful in April, May and in the breezy summer months.
3. Public Kitchen (downtown Providence) right next to The Vets. It's a great place to eat after watching a show in that beautifully restored building! Public has a giant spiral staircase leading into the main room and it's so regal and just simple. I get lost in the bathrooms because they are incredibly huge, and the experience is memorable.
4. Providence G (G Pub) - Orange Street in Providence. This place is wonderful! My favorite part is the rooftop. It's the place to be in the summer, to watch the sun set on the roof. It's relaxing and reminds you of just how small we are compared to the world. And let me tell you, the sunsets from that roof are amazing. It's a little pricey, but you're paying for the ambiance and beauty of an amazing experience.
5. Which brings me to number 5. As you look out from the roof at the Providence G, you will spot the red sign of the "Biltmore" staring back. It's beautiful and has a personal significance for me.
It's important to know that any place/restaurant with music (particularly jazz), is a plus for me!
But aside, from these recommendations - the best place to be with your "significant other" or that "dreamy guy" that you like, is the place where you two have established a connection. It's a place where you both feel comfortable and call home. And, it's at that place where you should celebrate your love, appreciation, and value for each other this February 14th.
-until tomorrow, friends.
cheers!
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Commerciality of Feb. 14th
Hi Friends and Faithful Readers,
I walked into CVS today and was completely overcome by the red Valentine's Day balloons, teddy bears sitting atop the shelves, the Russell Stover's candy heart boxes and the scent of the many (many!) flowers waiting patiently to be purchased at the front counter. (This whole experience has been quite overwhelming for your single, gluten-free gal!) Not to mention, the candy (with the exception of the sweet tarts and the cherry hearts - not cinnamon!), which is not gluten and dairy free. Thank goodness for establishments like Wildflour. They are truly a life saver! No pun intended.
Anyway, after being completely overcome by my singleness as a young, twenty-something woman, I realized, yet again, that Valentine's Day is highly over commercialized. My grandfather used to say that your love for a person should be celebrated/acknowledged throughout the year and not just on one day. Sure, it's a great day for a "culmination" of appreciation that you have for one person, your significant other, or, for a group of people like your family, but, perhaps it's the material things that overwhelm me, rather than the holiday itself.
In recent years, Valentine's Day seems to be highly focused on the "money" aspect of supporting companies and manufacturers with the typical cost and demand of selling pink and red and white fluffy and sweet things :) Greeting cards are a whole other subject that deserves a separate post altogether. At times, Valentine's Day seems like a "money making holiday" and I wish that it could return to the simplicity of a single rose instead of a dozen, from homemade chocolates instead of store bought, to thoughtful and intelligent conversations that talk about the world and life and the future instead of circling around the "material" things.
Just because I am single as this Valentine's Day is approaching, doesn't mean that I should be feeling like I am "missing" something. Honestly, I take joy and happiness in listening to my friends and co-workers. I take joy in lighting up their day, in seeing their the corners of their mouths turn up into a smile and in their caring thoughts and words. To me, making a family member happy and seeing a neighbor have food on their table when they've been at the hospital all day, is a symbol and a selfless sign of love itself.
Someday, I hope to experience that "romantic" kind of love, but until then - I'm pleasantly enjoying this teacher life as your single, gluten-free gal.
-cheers!
I walked into CVS today and was completely overcome by the red Valentine's Day balloons, teddy bears sitting atop the shelves, the Russell Stover's candy heart boxes and the scent of the many (many!) flowers waiting patiently to be purchased at the front counter. (This whole experience has been quite overwhelming for your single, gluten-free gal!) Not to mention, the candy (with the exception of the sweet tarts and the cherry hearts - not cinnamon!), which is not gluten and dairy free. Thank goodness for establishments like Wildflour. They are truly a life saver! No pun intended.
Anyway, after being completely overcome by my singleness as a young, twenty-something woman, I realized, yet again, that Valentine's Day is highly over commercialized. My grandfather used to say that your love for a person should be celebrated/acknowledged throughout the year and not just on one day. Sure, it's a great day for a "culmination" of appreciation that you have for one person, your significant other, or, for a group of people like your family, but, perhaps it's the material things that overwhelm me, rather than the holiday itself.
In recent years, Valentine's Day seems to be highly focused on the "money" aspect of supporting companies and manufacturers with the typical cost and demand of selling pink and red and white fluffy and sweet things :) Greeting cards are a whole other subject that deserves a separate post altogether. At times, Valentine's Day seems like a "money making holiday" and I wish that it could return to the simplicity of a single rose instead of a dozen, from homemade chocolates instead of store bought, to thoughtful and intelligent conversations that talk about the world and life and the future instead of circling around the "material" things.
Just because I am single as this Valentine's Day is approaching, doesn't mean that I should be feeling like I am "missing" something. Honestly, I take joy and happiness in listening to my friends and co-workers. I take joy in lighting up their day, in seeing their the corners of their mouths turn up into a smile and in their caring thoughts and words. To me, making a family member happy and seeing a neighbor have food on their table when they've been at the hospital all day, is a symbol and a selfless sign of love itself.
Someday, I hope to experience that "romantic" kind of love, but until then - I'm pleasantly enjoying this teacher life as your single, gluten-free gal.
-cheers!
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 9th: Is it Really All About the "Glitz and Glam?"
Hi Readers,
I have a question for you.
Is Valentine's Day really all about the "glitz and the glam?" Is it about the store bought chocolates, the Russell Stover's sweets, the roses, the endless flowers and teddy bears, the sentimental cards? Or, is Valentine's Day more than just the "material" things?
"Everything in moderation" is a good quote to live by. Too much of a good thing, can be hurtful or even, in some cases, detrimental. I'm not saying that we should not buy/purchase our loved ones valuable things. Everyone deserves to have their affection for their significant other shown in a variety of ways. However, if material things are the only ways by which one shows their love to another - then we should probably examine both the short and long term affects on ourselves and on the other person that these possessions have.
We all like to be appreciated with material things. I love flowers, especially Zinnias! This does not go to say that "love" (however that looks for you) should be represented only in such "material" ways. In my opinion, love should be represented every day, and not just on one holiday. It should be a holiday that we celebrate our love for each other, our jobs, our friends, our co-workers, or workplaces, our neighbors, our families, etc. It should also be a holiday where that may be a culmination of the ways in which we show our love in these experiences throughout the entire year or leading up to the celebration, for that matter, too. Love is not just romantic (though society has somehow geared it towards that in recent years) but includes familial and friendship, too.
Love is, truly priceless. Sure, a nice open heart necklace from Kay's Jeweler's may be lovely (!) but a listening ear, a kind word, a thoughtful, intelligent conversation, a cup of coffee - those things mean more to me than a dozen roses, assorted chocolates, and teddy bears combined! Though, flowers would brighten up my desk and I could probably teach a whole lesson on roses and tie it into science and math and writing :)
This Valentine's Day, lets take a deeper look into the things that we "love" and the things that we "care about." May we search for those that hold a deep place in our hearts and seek to share them with the people who are in our lives.
-cheers.
I have a question for you.
Is Valentine's Day really all about the "glitz and the glam?" Is it about the store bought chocolates, the Russell Stover's sweets, the roses, the endless flowers and teddy bears, the sentimental cards? Or, is Valentine's Day more than just the "material" things?
"Everything in moderation" is a good quote to live by. Too much of a good thing, can be hurtful or even, in some cases, detrimental. I'm not saying that we should not buy/purchase our loved ones valuable things. Everyone deserves to have their affection for their significant other shown in a variety of ways. However, if material things are the only ways by which one shows their love to another - then we should probably examine both the short and long term affects on ourselves and on the other person that these possessions have.
We all like to be appreciated with material things. I love flowers, especially Zinnias! This does not go to say that "love" (however that looks for you) should be represented only in such "material" ways. In my opinion, love should be represented every day, and not just on one holiday. It should be a holiday that we celebrate our love for each other, our jobs, our friends, our co-workers, or workplaces, our neighbors, our families, etc. It should also be a holiday where that may be a culmination of the ways in which we show our love in these experiences throughout the entire year or leading up to the celebration, for that matter, too. Love is not just romantic (though society has somehow geared it towards that in recent years) but includes familial and friendship, too.
Love is, truly priceless. Sure, a nice open heart necklace from Kay's Jeweler's may be lovely (!) but a listening ear, a kind word, a thoughtful, intelligent conversation, a cup of coffee - those things mean more to me than a dozen roses, assorted chocolates, and teddy bears combined! Though, flowers would brighten up my desk and I could probably teach a whole lesson on roses and tie it into science and math and writing :)
This Valentine's Day, lets take a deeper look into the things that we "love" and the things that we "care about." May we search for those that hold a deep place in our hearts and seek to share them with the people who are in our lives.
-cheers.
Monday, February 8, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 8th - Banana Chocolate Chip Bread and Dating
Hi Readers,
I recently spent my second "snow day" out from school. It was a great time to stay inside, watch the snow with my hands wrapped around a warm mug of green tea, cook, bake, and of course, do some school work!
I have to admit, seeing the snow gently falling outside my picture windows, coursing through the trees, caused me to be in a baking mood and, as a result, I made a plethora of "goodies." On the dessert menu and covering my kitchen table are brownies, oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate chip banana bread. Do you notice a theme? I love chocolate chips and don't get to have them that often! I restrict myself, but when I do, I always go for the Enjoy Life baking chocolate chips. They're gluten, dairy, soy and nut free and completely vegan!
As I was mixing the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients for the banana bread, I was struck by something. When I'm cooking, my mind is allowed to wander, as my hands and body engage with the whole cooking process. When I first tried to make this recipe, I cut out four different types of flour that the recipe called for and only used one. The ingredients came out like a dough instead of a thick liquid. I cooked it at the temperature that the recipe called for and kept it in just as the writer had indicated. It came out crumbly, overcooked, and not moist at all!
So, I wasn't satisfied and decided to have a second go-around with it. I tried the recipe again, this time, cutting back the amount of flour that I used, decreased the amount of baking time and decreased the oven temperature. The banana chocolate chip bread emerged from the oven, a beautiful golden color, moist, and with a little bounce when I pushed on it. All in all, taking a chance, mixing up the recipe, and trying something new, really helped to make the dessert my own.
Baking banana chocolate chip bread is a lot like dating. When I'm baking, I follow the recipe to the "T." I'm a teacher, so I am very accustomed to routines, structure, and plans. My daily life revolves around those three important "ingredients!" When I try to apply this process that I've used for eons (it seems), with dating/finding a guy, my experience is like the first banana chocolate chip bread, burnt, crumbly, and devoid of moisture.
I'm not saying that we should not date/find a guy (or a significant other, for that matter) by not "following a recipe." Honestly, there is no "recipe" for love. What works for one person to find love may not necessarily work nor have the same affects for another person. Everyone's taste buds are different. Dating is not a process where you gather said ingredients, mix them together, bake, and voilà, you have a handsome man, cooked to perfection. Dating is a lot like my second banana chocolate chip bread attempt: that is, one in which you alter the ingredients, take a risk, lower the temperature, and most importantly, give it time to cook.
Your experience may seem awkward at first. It may not taste "quite right" or be akin to your liking, but after several attempts and many experiences, you'll be able refine the selection. You may not be able to "fix" your potential man (that should not be your ultimate goal), but dating certainly shows you a lot about yourself - and provides you a mirror into the world that you've been in far too long. Dating encourages you to take on the form of that banana bread, to put yourself "out there" (see my last post) and present yourself to the world, flaws and all.
Dating provides you with an outlook into the sea of fish, goldfish, piranhas, etc. that are in the ocean. It's a big, wide world out there, but, I guarantee you that, in the process, you learn as much about yourself as you do about the men out there. And that, my friends, is just as, if not more important than, finding a potential "mate."
cheers.
I recently spent my second "snow day" out from school. It was a great time to stay inside, watch the snow with my hands wrapped around a warm mug of green tea, cook, bake, and of course, do some school work!
I have to admit, seeing the snow gently falling outside my picture windows, coursing through the trees, caused me to be in a baking mood and, as a result, I made a plethora of "goodies." On the dessert menu and covering my kitchen table are brownies, oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate chip banana bread. Do you notice a theme? I love chocolate chips and don't get to have them that often! I restrict myself, but when I do, I always go for the Enjoy Life baking chocolate chips. They're gluten, dairy, soy and nut free and completely vegan!
As I was mixing the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients for the banana bread, I was struck by something. When I'm cooking, my mind is allowed to wander, as my hands and body engage with the whole cooking process. When I first tried to make this recipe, I cut out four different types of flour that the recipe called for and only used one. The ingredients came out like a dough instead of a thick liquid. I cooked it at the temperature that the recipe called for and kept it in just as the writer had indicated. It came out crumbly, overcooked, and not moist at all!
So, I wasn't satisfied and decided to have a second go-around with it. I tried the recipe again, this time, cutting back the amount of flour that I used, decreased the amount of baking time and decreased the oven temperature. The banana chocolate chip bread emerged from the oven, a beautiful golden color, moist, and with a little bounce when I pushed on it. All in all, taking a chance, mixing up the recipe, and trying something new, really helped to make the dessert my own.
Baking banana chocolate chip bread is a lot like dating. When I'm baking, I follow the recipe to the "T." I'm a teacher, so I am very accustomed to routines, structure, and plans. My daily life revolves around those three important "ingredients!" When I try to apply this process that I've used for eons (it seems), with dating/finding a guy, my experience is like the first banana chocolate chip bread, burnt, crumbly, and devoid of moisture.
I'm not saying that we should not date/find a guy (or a significant other, for that matter) by not "following a recipe." Honestly, there is no "recipe" for love. What works for one person to find love may not necessarily work nor have the same affects for another person. Everyone's taste buds are different. Dating is not a process where you gather said ingredients, mix them together, bake, and voilà, you have a handsome man, cooked to perfection. Dating is a lot like my second banana chocolate chip bread attempt: that is, one in which you alter the ingredients, take a risk, lower the temperature, and most importantly, give it time to cook.
Your experience may seem awkward at first. It may not taste "quite right" or be akin to your liking, but after several attempts and many experiences, you'll be able refine the selection. You may not be able to "fix" your potential man (that should not be your ultimate goal), but dating certainly shows you a lot about yourself - and provides you a mirror into the world that you've been in far too long. Dating encourages you to take on the form of that banana bread, to put yourself "out there" (see my last post) and present yourself to the world, flaws and all.
Dating provides you with an outlook into the sea of fish, goldfish, piranhas, etc. that are in the ocean. It's a big, wide world out there, but, I guarantee you that, in the process, you learn as much about yourself as you do about the men out there. And that, my friends, is just as, if not more important than, finding a potential "mate."
cheers.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day - Post # 7: Cook Your Heart Out
Let's just get something straight.
A guy worthy of my heart, knows how to cook.
A guy who knows how to cook, is worthy of my heart.
A guy who prefers microwaved dinners 6/7 days of the week, should learn how to cook.
In my opinion, cooking is a significant part of any relationship, whether it be romantic, a friendship, or a family relationship. Cooking brings people together. It allows time to be spent preparing a meal and sitting down (hopefully!) at a table to talk, and commune with one another.
My dad was the one who taught me how to cook. I remember peering over the stove at a young age, watching him cook dinner after dinner, meal after meal. My mom would cook, too and she would bake, but, there is only room for so many cooks in the kitchen. I always loved watching my dad prep meals, as if he was a "magician" in the kitchen, with green peppers, steak, mushrooms, and tomatoes as his show. My parents and I always sat down at the dining room table to eat. There is actually research that supports the notion that parents who cook and eat dinner/meals with their children on a regular basis do better in school and in life. (Look it up!) As a teacher, that part of cooking always resonates with me and to this day, my students and I follow "recipes" in class such as for writing and for making salt dough for math.
As you can see, cooking is a vital part of my life. It is not something that I dread doing after a long day at work (granted, their are some days that seem longer than others where I feel like a need break from the everyday routine), but rather, a necessary task that I embrace. Cooking relaxes me and is a equally a great stress reliever. I feel better after I cook a meal or bake. My favorite part is seeing the meal in my head, with all of the colors and textures and tastes, and putting it onto the plate. Cooking is ingrained in me, much like stories and traditions are passed down in families. Cooking is my tradition that I hope will be carried on to my future family and children someday.
With that said, a man who knows his way around a pan and a kitchen, and who is handy with a spatula and the flavors of seasoning, is one that I am attracted to. Everyone deserves a nice meal out every once in a while, but a home cooked meal, where two people work together to prepare it (or even a surprise meal by candlelight) is one that I prefer more. There's just something so natural about the art of cooking and the ability to create a delicious meal with your hands.
Anyway, if you're out there, "potential guy," make sure that you know how to cook. Because, I can sniff out a natural cook from the wannabes. And, I hope that you "wannabe" with me.
-cheers!
A guy worthy of my heart, knows how to cook.
A guy who knows how to cook, is worthy of my heart.
A guy who prefers microwaved dinners 6/7 days of the week, should learn how to cook.
In my opinion, cooking is a significant part of any relationship, whether it be romantic, a friendship, or a family relationship. Cooking brings people together. It allows time to be spent preparing a meal and sitting down (hopefully!) at a table to talk, and commune with one another.
My dad was the one who taught me how to cook. I remember peering over the stove at a young age, watching him cook dinner after dinner, meal after meal. My mom would cook, too and she would bake, but, there is only room for so many cooks in the kitchen. I always loved watching my dad prep meals, as if he was a "magician" in the kitchen, with green peppers, steak, mushrooms, and tomatoes as his show. My parents and I always sat down at the dining room table to eat. There is actually research that supports the notion that parents who cook and eat dinner/meals with their children on a regular basis do better in school and in life. (Look it up!) As a teacher, that part of cooking always resonates with me and to this day, my students and I follow "recipes" in class such as for writing and for making salt dough for math.
As you can see, cooking is a vital part of my life. It is not something that I dread doing after a long day at work (granted, their are some days that seem longer than others where I feel like a need break from the everyday routine), but rather, a necessary task that I embrace. Cooking relaxes me and is a equally a great stress reliever. I feel better after I cook a meal or bake. My favorite part is seeing the meal in my head, with all of the colors and textures and tastes, and putting it onto the plate. Cooking is ingrained in me, much like stories and traditions are passed down in families. Cooking is my tradition that I hope will be carried on to my future family and children someday.
With that said, a man who knows his way around a pan and a kitchen, and who is handy with a spatula and the flavors of seasoning, is one that I am attracted to. Everyone deserves a nice meal out every once in a while, but a home cooked meal, where two people work together to prepare it (or even a surprise meal by candlelight) is one that I prefer more. There's just something so natural about the art of cooking and the ability to create a delicious meal with your hands.
Anyway, if you're out there, "potential guy," make sure that you know how to cook. Because, I can sniff out a natural cook from the wannabes. And, I hope that you "wannabe" with me.
-cheers!
the 14 Days of Valentine's Day Posts: GET OUT THERE!
Hi Readers,
So, I am a little behind in my posts (but only by a couple of days!) Since I last wrote, we had a snow day on Friday and we have one scheduled again for tomorrow. Wow! I guess the ground from Pennsylvania was a little confused :)
Anyway, continuing with the "14 Days of Valentine's Day Series."
I've often been told by many friends that I need to "take more risks" when it comes to meeting people, particularly where relationships are concerned. I am quite accustomed to "crushing" as a todays teenage girls say and keeping it a secret all to myself. I do have to admit, that I am not one of those gals to make the first move. In addition, I am also very adept (from years of experience, I might add), to putting up invisible walls/boundaries between myself and the potential guy that I like. Honestly, I'm not really quite sure why I do that. Perhaps, when I examine this characteristic of myself more closely (NCIS style), I realize that I put up these "walls" as a sense of protection in case I were to "get hurt."
As a young girl, I was always "gun ho" about my education. My parents instilled that piece of learning within me that their belief in being an educated, thoughtful, mindful person is one of the major stepping stones in life. I carried this belief with me all throughout my childhood and onto high school. Sure, I had crushes, but never really any "serious" boyfriends. Looking back, all of the guys that I "liked" or developed an interest in, were those with charisma, who had significant flaws, were jokesters and jocks. I'm typically drawn to the guys who needed fixing and those that I think may like me and that I could "fix." But the reality is, you cannot help those who do not want to help themselves.
Nowadays, I appreciate men who do have a good sense of humor, who can make me laugh, who like independent and self-driven women, who are passionate about their field of work, and who love their family, animals, and kids.
As far as the "getting out more" to meet new people (particular guys), I am slowly learning how do this. More importantly, I am learning how to navigate the waters of once having a social life (in college) to having no social life (full-time work and Graduate school) to having a life outside of work again. It's a messy and beautiful balance and I am fortunate to be a part of it.
Check out this article, Stop getting in your own way, from October 4, 2015 - written by Erika Ettin from the Tribune News Service and published in The Providence Journal. It is a great piece about dating, relationships, and how we can sometimes be the person who is "getting in the way."
Any suggestions for me? Feel free to leave a comment.
Stay warm my New Englander friends.
-cheers!
So, I am a little behind in my posts (but only by a couple of days!) Since I last wrote, we had a snow day on Friday and we have one scheduled again for tomorrow. Wow! I guess the ground from Pennsylvania was a little confused :)
Anyway, continuing with the "14 Days of Valentine's Day Series."
I've often been told by many friends that I need to "take more risks" when it comes to meeting people, particularly where relationships are concerned. I am quite accustomed to "crushing" as a todays teenage girls say and keeping it a secret all to myself. I do have to admit, that I am not one of those gals to make the first move. In addition, I am also very adept (from years of experience, I might add), to putting up invisible walls/boundaries between myself and the potential guy that I like. Honestly, I'm not really quite sure why I do that. Perhaps, when I examine this characteristic of myself more closely (NCIS style), I realize that I put up these "walls" as a sense of protection in case I were to "get hurt."
As a young girl, I was always "gun ho" about my education. My parents instilled that piece of learning within me that their belief in being an educated, thoughtful, mindful person is one of the major stepping stones in life. I carried this belief with me all throughout my childhood and onto high school. Sure, I had crushes, but never really any "serious" boyfriends. Looking back, all of the guys that I "liked" or developed an interest in, were those with charisma, who had significant flaws, were jokesters and jocks. I'm typically drawn to the guys who needed fixing and those that I think may like me and that I could "fix." But the reality is, you cannot help those who do not want to help themselves.
Nowadays, I appreciate men who do have a good sense of humor, who can make me laugh, who like independent and self-driven women, who are passionate about their field of work, and who love their family, animals, and kids.
As far as the "getting out more" to meet new people (particular guys), I am slowly learning how do this. More importantly, I am learning how to navigate the waters of once having a social life (in college) to having no social life (full-time work and Graduate school) to having a life outside of work again. It's a messy and beautiful balance and I am fortunate to be a part of it.
Check out this article, Stop getting in your own way, from October 4, 2015 - written by Erika Ettin from the Tribune News Service and published in The Providence Journal. It is a great piece about dating, relationships, and how we can sometimes be the person who is "getting in the way."
Any suggestions for me? Feel free to leave a comment.
Stay warm my New Englander friends.
-cheers!
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