a barefoot God

My heart is changing.

I know that is an unusual way to begin a sentence, but it is true. Often, I look inwardly, tending to my own house without taking a moment to look out the window. There is so much happening beyond the walls of my home. I take pride in making the kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom look presentable. In some ways, I feel as though I am stuck in the 1920s, an era when women stayed home to care for the children and fulfill household chores. I am beginning to realize that if I embody such a lifestyle for myself, I will miss the delight of looking out my window.

You see, there is something spectacular about opening the door of my home to sit outside. There is something right about lying barefoot on the grass and watching the clouds pass by. This is my picture of the "perfect day." This is how I imagine God spending time with me. Lying next to me on the grass, looking up at the sky, oblivious of time, yet holding time in itself. Our lives revolve around scheduling whether its transporting our kids to their soccer practice, having lunch with the in-laws, or planning a wedding. Yet, God is teaching me to not rely on a schedule where I know what's coming in the next 5 minutes, in the next hour, in the next day or even in the next week. He's teaching me to rely on no schedule at all.

God speaks many times in the Bible about "community." But, there are times (even in the scheduling) where he calls me to "get away."

I recently saw the movie, "The Karate Kid." I'm not one for plots that involve fighting but there was something about the movie previews that intrigued me. In one part of the movie, Dre Parker (played by Will Smith's son Jaden Smith) asks Mr. Hun (Jackie Chan), "Are we going to train today?" Mr. Hun says "No." And twelve-year old Dre asks "Why?" Mr. Hun says "Because too much of something can be a bad thing."

Really? "Too much of something can be a bad thing?" Well, if I eat too much ice cream, or watch too much television, or stay up too late on the computer, then yes, too much of something is bad. We all need a break. In Pslam 23, David (the psalmist) paints this picture of God as a Shepherd. He writes that God will always be with us "even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death." I leave you with Psalm 23 and ask you to answer this question, Is God your Shepherd today?

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he lead me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

You don't always have to walk with your shoes on. Sometimes, God is completely content going barefoot; hangin' out beside you on the grass, staring up at the clouds as they effortlessly pass by.

I Am His

"Lord, take my heart,
for I cannot give it to you.
And when you have it,
keep it.
For I would not take it from you."

- Francois Fenelon

Thoughts on Life

I recently received this from a friend and wanted to share it with you in the hopes that you will share it with others.
_____________________

We never get what we want,
We never want what we get,
We never have what we like,
We never like what we have.
And still we live & love.
That's life...

The best kind of people,
Is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,
Never say a word,
And then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know
What we've got until it's gone,
But it's also true that we don't know
What we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!
Don't expect love in return;
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
An hour to like someone,
And a day to love someone,
But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
Because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seems bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile!

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human,
And enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes.
If you feel that it hurts you,
It probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for
Those who cry,
Those who hurt,
Those who have searched,
And those who have tried,
For only they can appreciate the importance of people
Who have touched their lives.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
You're the one who is smiling
And everyone around you is crying.

""There are those who work all day.
Those who dream all day.
And those who dream for an hour
before working to fulfill those dreams."”

"The Furious Love of God"

"My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it."

~ The Ragamuffin Gospel

Brennan Manning

(p. 25)

Release Me

Lately, I have been learning about humility and sacrifice.

To be humble is more than just relinquishing power and fulfilling the requests of another individual. Humility is asking to honestly see life from a perspective different than yours. Humility doesn't ask "What can I do?" but rather "What does God require of me?" A humble person is one who goes the extra mile for a neighbor; not because he/she has to or it is the right thing to do but because its a lifestyle. Humility does the ridiculous for a friend, a stranger, an enemy.

A person who expresses humility looks in the eyes of a person and sees Jesus. Lord, I want to see your reflection not in the pond as a wrinkled and temporary shadow, but as a real person with flesh and blood, breath and desire staring back at me. May the mirror be a mosaic of you and your people. Teach me how to walk barefoot with humility everyday. Show me your blisters so that I may begin to understand how to truly love. Let me experience your blisters. Show me what it is like to "love until it hurts." Teach me how to live with less and show me that it is more than I need.

Humility begets sacrifice. Sacrifice does not merely give people things; sacrifice literally gives up the needs of ourselves for someone else.

An example of sacrifice that I am constantly reminded of is that of Abraham and Issac. Here is the true story of a father, Abraham, who responds to God's call to sacrifice his son, Issac. Yet, right when Abraham is standing over his son, he hears the voice of the Lord beckoning him to stop. God not only saw his humility and sacrifice but recognized that his heart was aligned with God's. This test drew Abraham and God closer together, allowed Abraham to see the soverignity of God's rule, and let Abraham put the needs of his son first.

Truthfully, I don't know if I could sacrifice my only child. However, I think that sacrifice comes in ways that we may not expect. In his book, The Challenge of Jesus, N.T. Wright describes the "kingdom of God." Historical research shows that the Jews were not expecting the kingdom of God nor the return from their exile to manifest in the way that it did. Sometimes our view of humility and sacrifice may be quite different than what god had in mind.

Give me the ability to surrender my daily life to you, so that your will is fully exposed as raw and true, loving and beautiful.

swing girl

an empty swing hangs between two worn metal bars.
the wind is the only evidence that memories still remain.
eagerly, the girl climbs onto the black seat waiting for her father's protective hands to give her a firm push into the land of the unknown.
time transforms the child into a teenager
who no longer wants her father to push her
but would rather use her mud-streaked white sneakers to push herself.
observing this gift of independence, her father silently sits on the park bench to watch this youthful girl with long blonde hair pumping her feet into a big world.
graduations, marriages and children skip into and out of this woman's life.
this lonely swing still hangs motionless
waiting for his friend.
the swing that brought her joy and freedom as a child.
the metal rings feel cold on her wrinkled hands.
she swings back and forth with more effort though
that spirit for life still pumps blood to her heart.
she longs for someone to push her.
yet, when she looks behind her,
she sees only a shadow of man who once was.

(*an original poem written by alex)

iris

a color that does not fade when the sun goes to sleep,
a color that remains for the whole world to see.

a color that confidently stands in the gray rainstorms

true to itself and to the one who created it.

a color that does not wonder "why" but rather "what is?"

a color that accepts differences and sows seeds of radical love.

a color who looks in the eyes of a friend, stranger or a child and

sees herself.

a color whose heart is burdened for the homeless and the poverty in our state, country and world.

a color who desperately longs to see our government wipe the tears of the oppressed away by passing the bill of "Love."

a color who stands out in the rain,

sponge soaked and wet with remorse for the hatred that has been done to her.

a color that looks the hurt in the eye and says:

"I forgive."

because sometimes, life is not always black and white.

sometimes, a little color is thrown in to the mix.

* a poem written by alex. (14 May 2010)

photograph

life is like a photograph.
the "captured moment" may appear self-explanatory but is it?
is there more going on that we don't know about, that we have left to uncover?
what are the people's emotions, what are they thinking about, how do they view life?
instead of looking at a photograph from the angle that i have been seeing it all along,
God has taken his hand and turned the picture around.
now, it is not my perspective that i view but His.

Beauty: Is it Only Skin Deep or Is There Something More?

Some people can gain everything and have nothing.

Appearances don't always accurately describe a person's true feelings.
Materialistic items; popularity, wealth, the latest car, a huge diamond ring, $30,000 shoes, a mansion.
These items may look physically appealing but the truth is, they don't last.
What if the simple things were attractive?
Instead of the Mercedes capturing commercials, what if laughter did?
Happiness doesn't come in a bottle of pills.
People initiate hugs, emotions, compassion, love.
What if you picked up the newspaper to see a field or a row of trees on the front page?
Why is it that these things which bring us happiness are so often overlooked?
Could it be that our priorities are a little skewed? A little slanted?
Appearance is superificial.

A friend once told me this about marriage:
Imagine what your spouse or significant other will look like 20 years from now. Will he or she still be beautiful? Will their beauty always come from the inside or will they be constantly searching for beauty in the latest wrinkle cream?

Lord, help me to be satisfied with the simple. The chirping birds, the dog that barks, the baby who cries. Let me see with your eyes that these items reflect your nature. That they are meant to produce love and affection and wholeness and peace. Whenever I doubt your grace, let me know that I'm covered.

Silence

sometimes, a lack of words speak louder than conversation.
sometimes, the silence is all that a person needs to be healed.
sometimes, listening is the only solution.