Lately, I have been learning how to risk.
How to risk it all without losing it all.
How to risk just enough without losing out.
How to risk a healthy balance and still receive the thrill of risk taking.
But, as I sit back and wonder if I have really experienced risk at all -
the answer is
no.
not until I have sacrificed my personal needs and desires and wants and aspirations in life
in exchange for the
personal needs and desires and wants and aspirations that God has for my life.
and so, i kneel down at my bedside, hands clasped prayerfully as a good religious child would do
and ask God
to take it all.
my selfishness, my hurts, my anger, my resentment towards other people.
and instead, fill my body with the living water that I thirst for everyday.
for material things will not suffice, plants that will wither when the first rain comes will never stay when a real problem arises.
only his friendship and his love will truly last
forever.
and the ring that he puts on my finger will always be shining in his sunlight
as a gentle reminder of his passionate and unfailing love towards
me.
Copyright -
Alex Puleo
September 7, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
when it comes down to it...
'So this guy comes up to me and says,
"What's the vision? What's the big idea?"
I open my mouth and words come out like this...
The vision?
The vision is Jesus.
Obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.'
~Pete Greig
"What's the vision? What's the big idea?"
I open my mouth and words come out like this...
The vision?
The vision is Jesus.
Obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.'
~Pete Greig
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Think
found this in my inbox this morning from a friend and just wanted to share it with you.
\\\\\\\\\
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend,
'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,
'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before,
and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life Is a Gift
Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven..
Before whining about the distance you drive-
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and think:
you're alive and still around.
========================
\\\\\\\\\
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend,
'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,
'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before,
and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life Is a Gift
Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven..
Before whining about the distance you drive-
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and think:
you're alive and still around.
========================
Monday, August 2, 2010
pharisee faith vs. widow faith.
A friend once said to me: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
A question that I have been asked repeatedly this summer by friends, family and neighbors is "What's next? After college, do you know what you want to do?" I often wonder about the paths in my life. If I choose to take Path A, will I ever be found wandering on Path B? And if I choose Path B, will Path A be forever washed away from my life?
College is a time of exploration but more than that, it is a time of identity. Of finding out who you really are. Of discovering life from your very own eyes; a life that no one else can experience except you.
This summer, my identity has been found in God. I have been following the Spirit's leading in my life. To obey this "pushing" as I have come to call it, is new for me. The experiences have taken me places and caused me to grow in my faith. I guess you could say that my faith has become "simple." A faith honestly searching for God in the everyday brokenness of society; a faith that seeks to be the selfless love that Jesus calls us to inhabit; a faith that is not satisfied with being the same everyday but different. My God has shown me (oftentimes bluntly) that it is His purposes that matter in the world. When I begin to encompass his desires as my own, my life starts to make sense. I have found that it may not make sense to the world; in fact it probably looks ridiculous, but it makes sense to God and to me. I have faced challenges in this continuous journey, but more importantly, my God has always been there for me. He has not left when I have messed up or fallen short. In fact, he has picked me up and embraced me as a young daughter of his own. To be held by an everlasting father who knows you (literally) from the inside out, leaves me awestruck.
Openly sharing my faith has also been a new journey for me. For years, I have kept my relationship with God very private. Until now, he has shown me that through community, brings restoration and discipleship. Through community we begin to learn more about ourselves and each other and the world than we ever would begin to understand by ourselves. God is not impressed by a "pharisee" kind of faith. A life that preaches loudly from street corners and condemns those who do not conform to their ways. The faith that he has been placing on me this summer has been that of someone different. The Bible tells of a story of a widow who gives her last coin (literally, all of the money that she had left) to God. The religious elite were like those writing checks in today's society and thinking nothing of the poor. But, it is this woman who captures God's attention and brings healing to her life. I long to be this widow, so poor and destitute, that God calls her by her name. No longer is she characterized by these untrue stereotypes but her heart for God's kingdom is revealed in plain sight.
This woman is an inspiration to me and I hope, an inspiration to all of you reading this. I am not perfect, but I am slowly learning how to trust God with every area of my life. This brings about many new challenges and sometimes paths do intersect. But, I take comfort in knowing that regardless of the path I find myself walking barefoot on, God is always with me.
A question that I have been asked repeatedly this summer by friends, family and neighbors is "What's next? After college, do you know what you want to do?" I often wonder about the paths in my life. If I choose to take Path A, will I ever be found wandering on Path B? And if I choose Path B, will Path A be forever washed away from my life?
College is a time of exploration but more than that, it is a time of identity. Of finding out who you really are. Of discovering life from your very own eyes; a life that no one else can experience except you.
This summer, my identity has been found in God. I have been following the Spirit's leading in my life. To obey this "pushing" as I have come to call it, is new for me. The experiences have taken me places and caused me to grow in my faith. I guess you could say that my faith has become "simple." A faith honestly searching for God in the everyday brokenness of society; a faith that seeks to be the selfless love that Jesus calls us to inhabit; a faith that is not satisfied with being the same everyday but different. My God has shown me (oftentimes bluntly) that it is His purposes that matter in the world. When I begin to encompass his desires as my own, my life starts to make sense. I have found that it may not make sense to the world; in fact it probably looks ridiculous, but it makes sense to God and to me. I have faced challenges in this continuous journey, but more importantly, my God has always been there for me. He has not left when I have messed up or fallen short. In fact, he has picked me up and embraced me as a young daughter of his own. To be held by an everlasting father who knows you (literally) from the inside out, leaves me awestruck.
Openly sharing my faith has also been a new journey for me. For years, I have kept my relationship with God very private. Until now, he has shown me that through community, brings restoration and discipleship. Through community we begin to learn more about ourselves and each other and the world than we ever would begin to understand by ourselves. God is not impressed by a "pharisee" kind of faith. A life that preaches loudly from street corners and condemns those who do not conform to their ways. The faith that he has been placing on me this summer has been that of someone different. The Bible tells of a story of a widow who gives her last coin (literally, all of the money that she had left) to God. The religious elite were like those writing checks in today's society and thinking nothing of the poor. But, it is this woman who captures God's attention and brings healing to her life. I long to be this widow, so poor and destitute, that God calls her by her name. No longer is she characterized by these untrue stereotypes but her heart for God's kingdom is revealed in plain sight.
This woman is an inspiration to me and I hope, an inspiration to all of you reading this. I am not perfect, but I am slowly learning how to trust God with every area of my life. This brings about many new challenges and sometimes paths do intersect. But, I take comfort in knowing that regardless of the path I find myself walking barefoot on, God is always with me.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Pure
A friend once said:
"a glass can only spill what it actually contains."
I believe that this is the kind of commitment and sacrifice and love that Jesus asks of all of his followers. I believe that this is exactly what Jesus did and accomplished on the cross. I also believe that everyone (whether you identify as a follower of Jesus or not) is called to lay themselves down for someone else. We all have had experiences (or are having them now) that require us to put our neighbor's needs before our own. And sometimes, that is uncomfortable and/or exciting.
Jesus calls us to live such a life daily. He gets no extra fees and this choice comes without any gimmicks. This self-less life is often overlooked as "too good to be true." Similliar to those informercials that say if you buy this product in the next 90 seconds, your life will be great! But, Jesus is not an advertisement running across the television screen or a billboard on the highway. He is not absent from our lives only to be called upon when we are in desperate need. He is active and living today and everyday. He is all around us, through us and in us.
His life is like that of a glass cup. But, I think that the deeper part comes down to this: "What's in your cup?" Because if we can really get to the meaning behind the truth, then we have come to understanding. Before you pour the liquid into your cup, do you read the ingredients list on the back of the can or bottle? Are you filling up on just sugar and chemicals and preservatives? Or is it all natural? Is it made from real things in the environment? Does the nutrition label say: "made with grace, peace, forgiveness and love"?
When you finally pour that liquid into the glass, what does that substance say about you? About your life? Whatever you choose to quench your thirst is a direct reflection of you.
And when your glass is knocked over, (either planned or not) what flows out? Does the liquid bring forth help and healing or does it choke up anger and resentment?
Truthfully, I think that we all have a little Splenda in our drink. But, what does it take for us/me/you to work to make it pure? To be nothing but "all natural"?
You know how some waters (like Aquafina) say: "contains: water and salt"? How can water be anything but water? Why do we find the need to always enhance the flavor that is already so rich? In the same way, why do we all feel the need to enhance our lives with additional items and artificial ingredients?
Why do we do this?
I think that one of the many answers is that we feel uncomfortable being ourselves. We don't relish the opportunity of showing people our true selves. Our identity (whatever you find yourself immersed in) greatly impacts others. We never know how much we really impact a fellow human being (either positively or negatively). Our lives are always on display. They are a showcase. If we really examine the ways in which we live and it reveals that we are not comfortable with ourselves, then how will we ever be able to counsul and help others? If Christians are not able to find their sole purpose and satisfaction of new life in Christ, how will their friends know that there is another way to live apart from the sweeteners?
I also believe that another reason we enhance our drink with man-made materials is that we are afraid of making mistakes. We need to come to terms with the fact that as humans, we are not always going to get it right. It's important to learn from our mistakes so that we can become better stewards of our world and help others not to make the same ones that we did. Mistakes are one of life's learning tools. I'm not saying to go out and fill up on caffeine but what I am saying is that we are constantly reminded that through every fall, stumble and trip we acknowledge that we can't get through life on our own. Life is not supposed to be an independent journey. Humans were made for relationships and to experience and be dependent to the extent that it helps us not hurt us.
For those who identify as followers of Jesus, may he teach us how to be dependent on Him; to know that we are partners on life's journey. For those who may not profess to be followers of Jesus, may we begin to understand and take comfort in knowing that though all of us long for an artifical sweetener to add flavor to our drink, may we begin the process (however that may look for you personally) of removing this unncessary addition to making our drink pure.
Copyright July 2010: Alex
"a glass can only spill what it actually contains."
I believe that this is the kind of commitment and sacrifice and love that Jesus asks of all of his followers. I believe that this is exactly what Jesus did and accomplished on the cross. I also believe that everyone (whether you identify as a follower of Jesus or not) is called to lay themselves down for someone else. We all have had experiences (or are having them now) that require us to put our neighbor's needs before our own. And sometimes, that is uncomfortable and/or exciting.
Jesus calls us to live such a life daily. He gets no extra fees and this choice comes without any gimmicks. This self-less life is often overlooked as "too good to be true." Similliar to those informercials that say if you buy this product in the next 90 seconds, your life will be great! But, Jesus is not an advertisement running across the television screen or a billboard on the highway. He is not absent from our lives only to be called upon when we are in desperate need. He is active and living today and everyday. He is all around us, through us and in us.
His life is like that of a glass cup. But, I think that the deeper part comes down to this: "What's in your cup?" Because if we can really get to the meaning behind the truth, then we have come to understanding. Before you pour the liquid into your cup, do you read the ingredients list on the back of the can or bottle? Are you filling up on just sugar and chemicals and preservatives? Or is it all natural? Is it made from real things in the environment? Does the nutrition label say: "made with grace, peace, forgiveness and love"?
When you finally pour that liquid into the glass, what does that substance say about you? About your life? Whatever you choose to quench your thirst is a direct reflection of you.
And when your glass is knocked over, (either planned or not) what flows out? Does the liquid bring forth help and healing or does it choke up anger and resentment?
Truthfully, I think that we all have a little Splenda in our drink. But, what does it take for us/me/you to work to make it pure? To be nothing but "all natural"?
You know how some waters (like Aquafina) say: "contains: water and salt"? How can water be anything but water? Why do we find the need to always enhance the flavor that is already so rich? In the same way, why do we all feel the need to enhance our lives with additional items and artificial ingredients?
Why do we do this?
I think that one of the many answers is that we feel uncomfortable being ourselves. We don't relish the opportunity of showing people our true selves. Our identity (whatever you find yourself immersed in) greatly impacts others. We never know how much we really impact a fellow human being (either positively or negatively). Our lives are always on display. They are a showcase. If we really examine the ways in which we live and it reveals that we are not comfortable with ourselves, then how will we ever be able to counsul and help others? If Christians are not able to find their sole purpose and satisfaction of new life in Christ, how will their friends know that there is another way to live apart from the sweeteners?
I also believe that another reason we enhance our drink with man-made materials is that we are afraid of making mistakes. We need to come to terms with the fact that as humans, we are not always going to get it right. It's important to learn from our mistakes so that we can become better stewards of our world and help others not to make the same ones that we did. Mistakes are one of life's learning tools. I'm not saying to go out and fill up on caffeine but what I am saying is that we are constantly reminded that through every fall, stumble and trip we acknowledge that we can't get through life on our own. Life is not supposed to be an independent journey. Humans were made for relationships and to experience and be dependent to the extent that it helps us not hurt us.
For those who identify as followers of Jesus, may he teach us how to be dependent on Him; to know that we are partners on life's journey. For those who may not profess to be followers of Jesus, may we begin to understand and take comfort in knowing that though all of us long for an artifical sweetener to add flavor to our drink, may we begin the process (however that may look for you personally) of removing this unncessary addition to making our drink pure.
Copyright July 2010: Alex
Sunday, July 11, 2010
"because he loves me"
I came across this poem in the Providence Sunday Journal today and wanted to share it with you.
"our father who art in heaven"
he comes back
to the family now
with a vengeance
that seems odd
even to me,
the Queen of
never let them forget.
what could he
possibly hope to achieve
by arriving at the door
twenty some odd
many years
too late.
he offers us
a loaf of bread
telling us how long
he kneaded it,
and let it rise
until he knew it had
become
perfection.
he picked
the grapes from
his garden, where
they were grown
with optimism
and great faith.
tells us
all he is looking for
is one last meal
with his children,
a place to rest his head.
surely we could grant him that.
our father,
-Lynnie Gobeille
[it really spoke to me today. i also see some spiritual allusions...not sure if the poet intended them to be there, but they are.]
"our father who art in heaven"
he comes back
to the family now
with a vengeance
that seems odd
even to me,
the Queen of
never let them forget.
what could he
possibly hope to achieve
by arriving at the door
twenty some odd
many years
too late.
he offers us
a loaf of bread
telling us how long
he kneaded it,
and let it rise
until he knew it had
become
perfection.
he picked
the grapes from
his garden, where
they were grown
with optimism
and great faith.
tells us
all he is looking for
is one last meal
with his children,
a place to rest his head.
surely we could grant him that.
our father,
-Lynnie Gobeille
[it really spoke to me today. i also see some spiritual allusions...not sure if the poet intended them to be there, but they are.]
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
in love with Love
"Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps." - Psalm 85:13
"Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you."
- Psalm 86:2
"Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name."
-Psalm 86: 11
/////////////
God has already prepared the way for me. Jesus and his disciples have already gone before me. One of the writers of the Bible talks about "running the race that is marked before us." So, why the worry? For my Father says: "Do not worry." God has taken care of it all. He has provided for the birds and thus has provided an endless bounty for me. I keep on coming back to this passage in Luke 12:22-34. Verse 33 says to "sell your possessions and give to the poor." Poverty is more than a lack of material riches, homelessness and hunger. From personal experience, I know that there are people who are poor and look as if they have it all together. Poverty wears many different masks. Love wears none. True love is naked, exposed and vulnerable. The epitome of love is Jesus. The epitome of that love is God. The Holy Spirit lives inside us to make this love personal, alive and real. It's tangibility is evident everywhere, even in the most broken of places.
..."for where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." (verse 34).
If my heart is on the things that God desires and I am moving and listening and seeking his advice from older Christians in the faith, then I know in my heart that God has it {my fears, concerns, worries, uncertainties} worked out.
Jeremiah 29:11 says:
"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Now, I know that verses such as these can be taken out of context if not read carefully; but for me, today, this comforting verse lets me know that just like I am devoted to God with my life, my spiritual purity and his purpose for me, I know that God is devoted to me. For my heart and my mind are on the things of God and though I get stuck in a rut sometimes, I am aware of my identity in Christ. I know that I am loved. When I come back to his word I am constantly brought closer to my only lover and Father. My reflection is in him and he is in me.
"Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you."
- Psalm 86:2
"Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name."
-Psalm 86: 11
/////////////
God has already prepared the way for me. Jesus and his disciples have already gone before me. One of the writers of the Bible talks about "running the race that is marked before us." So, why the worry? For my Father says: "Do not worry." God has taken care of it all. He has provided for the birds and thus has provided an endless bounty for me. I keep on coming back to this passage in Luke 12:22-34. Verse 33 says to "sell your possessions and give to the poor." Poverty is more than a lack of material riches, homelessness and hunger. From personal experience, I know that there are people who are poor and look as if they have it all together. Poverty wears many different masks. Love wears none. True love is naked, exposed and vulnerable. The epitome of love is Jesus. The epitome of that love is God. The Holy Spirit lives inside us to make this love personal, alive and real. It's tangibility is evident everywhere, even in the most broken of places.
..."for where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." (verse 34).
If my heart is on the things that God desires and I am moving and listening and seeking his advice from older Christians in the faith, then I know in my heart that God has it {my fears, concerns, worries, uncertainties} worked out.
Jeremiah 29:11 says:
"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Now, I know that verses such as these can be taken out of context if not read carefully; but for me, today, this comforting verse lets me know that just like I am devoted to God with my life, my spiritual purity and his purpose for me, I know that God is devoted to me. For my heart and my mind are on the things of God and though I get stuck in a rut sometimes, I am aware of my identity in Christ. I know that I am loved. When I come back to his word I am constantly brought closer to my only lover and Father. My reflection is in him and he is in me.
Monday, July 5, 2010
poor in spirit
"The deeper we grow in the Spirit of Jesus Christ, the poorer we become-the more we realize that everything in life is a gift" (The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning, page 81).
Sunday, July 4, 2010
far beyond the vow of "i do"
"To have the mind of Christ Jesus, to think his thoughts, share his ideals, dream his dreams, throb with his desires, replace our natural responses to persons and situations with the concern of Jesus, and make the mindset of Christ so completely our own that "the life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" is not the secret of or shortcut to transparency. It is transparency" (Manning 38).
- it is a laying down of our own wants and needs and picking up Christ's wants and needs. It is humbly accepting a new perspective; a way of life completely different than mine. This new life that Christ offers is a daily struggle; it is not easy but it is worth it. a complete surrender to one person far surpasses my detailed map of life.
"Christianity, then, comprises more than involvement in human rights struggles, environmental causes, or peace programs. Fullness of life in the Spirit is more than finding Christ in others and serving him there. It is a summons to personal holiness, ongoing conversion, and new creation through union with Christ Jesus" (Manning 53).
- Living for Christ is work. i can never be perfected through actions and works if my heart and mind are not aligned with Christ's. If my desires become so weighty that they take precedence over God's than I have created a fictional character. Only a daily commitment and a lifetime of devotion to Jesus with our lives, our souls and our hearts will help to change our world that is governed by fear to a world passionately in love with its creator.
~ the above quotes came from Brennan Manning's book, The Importance of Being Foolish
- it is a laying down of our own wants and needs and picking up Christ's wants and needs. It is humbly accepting a new perspective; a way of life completely different than mine. This new life that Christ offers is a daily struggle; it is not easy but it is worth it. a complete surrender to one person far surpasses my detailed map of life.
"Christianity, then, comprises more than involvement in human rights struggles, environmental causes, or peace programs. Fullness of life in the Spirit is more than finding Christ in others and serving him there. It is a summons to personal holiness, ongoing conversion, and new creation through union with Christ Jesus" (Manning 53).
- Living for Christ is work. i can never be perfected through actions and works if my heart and mind are not aligned with Christ's. If my desires become so weighty that they take precedence over God's than I have created a fictional character. Only a daily commitment and a lifetime of devotion to Jesus with our lives, our souls and our hearts will help to change our world that is governed by fear to a world passionately in love with its creator.
~ the above quotes came from Brennan Manning's book, The Importance of Being Foolish
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
You
i want nothing more than knowing God.
nothing less than his mystery and
nothing more than what is his truest identity.
i want nothing more than knowing God.
i want to be drawn so close to him that I can
hear his breath
i want to feel his fingers run through my hair
and have him prune my life;
however that may look or feel.
i want nothing more than knowing God.
for his concern is not appearance but rather
heart.
rip my heart out of my chest and examine it under a microscope.
use your magnifying glass to see if there is any unworthy way in me.
teach me how to "let go"
making me become exactly how my Father saw me from the womb.
creation made a choice,
and though i may not make the correct or sensible move everytime,
teach me how to be humble.
show me ways in which i can express, receive and demonstrate humility.
show me ways in which i can love backwards.
for love isn't always forwards.
love isn't just a kiss and then a pulling away.
the love of God is so much more.
it is truly the love that lasts after the kiss and
penetrates the heart.
i want nothing more than knowing God.
nothing less than his mystery and
nothing more than what is his truest identity.
i want nothing more than knowing God.
i want to be drawn so close to him that I can
hear his breath
i want to feel his fingers run through my hair
and have him prune my life;
however that may look or feel.
i want nothing more than knowing God.
for his concern is not appearance but rather
heart.
rip my heart out of my chest and examine it under a microscope.
use your magnifying glass to see if there is any unworthy way in me.
teach me how to "let go"
making me become exactly how my Father saw me from the womb.
creation made a choice,
and though i may not make the correct or sensible move everytime,
teach me how to be humble.
show me ways in which i can express, receive and demonstrate humility.
show me ways in which i can love backwards.
for love isn't always forwards.
love isn't just a kiss and then a pulling away.
the love of God is so much more.
it is truly the love that lasts after the kiss and
penetrates the heart.
i want nothing more than knowing God.
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