Dear Readers,
This past year has been full of changes, to say the least. Changes for myself, for the world, and for the people around me. There is the age-old saying that "change is good." I think that in different contexts, change can AND is good, but in some contexts, change (depending on when it arrives), can be difficult to swallow, process, and handle.
For example, there are positive changes and negative changes. Both "groups" of changes, have the power to bring "side effects," so to say. Yet, these groups of changes are all driven by our "attitudes." Our attitudes within those moments, our perspectives, and our ability to handle gradual changes, immediate changes, and sudden/unexpected changes, showcase to the world our character.
I have to admit, there have been times in my life where my reaction(s) to change has been one of inadvertently using a close friend/relative as a "scapegoat." It isn't until after I allowed my negative attitude to dictate how I act, that I realized the hurt and heartache that I caused. Reflecting upon situations (as both a kid and as an adult) I have realized that had I taken time to "back away" or "step to the side" and analyzed the situation, then the outcome(s) would have been much different.
And, I think that there are various points within our lives that we feel just like this; a feeling of being "self-absorbed" within the context of our own problems that we have a negative view on change. In these scenarios, I've noticed that I have positively changed as a result of them and grown as a woman. I feel that without these instances in our lives, our growth would be stunted by the mundane facets of routines. A friend once told me that if you're feeling down, then go out and help someone else. Go bring light to another person.
However, when we are faced with change, we can choose to view it as negative (as mentioned above) or as positive. It is important to note that even when change comes across or is presented as negative, it may be difficult to see it as being a positive for quite sometime, due to the cloudy weather that may be affecting the overall perspective of the situation. Let me give you an example.
This year has been one of significant change for me. Throughout this school year, there have been times where I did not know where my job would be for next year. Sometimes, I thought I knew while other times, I wasn't so sure. This made me very unsettled. For about 3 months, I went through this grueling process, all the while not realizing that I was growing in the midst of the heartache. In my opinion, it's changes like this that grow us the most and test our "attitudes" and our ability to handle unexpected things that life throws down the slide. Reflecting back, I had no idea that this uncertainty would actually prove to be a positive thing for me and that my attitude, though it was very challenging to see at first, was changing.
I am proud and happy to say that I have a wonderful school that I will be at for next year. I am looking forward to making and establishing new friendships while maintaining the old ones. And, sometimes, it really is a cliché, but oh, so true, that "when one door closes, another door opens."
I thought that by having to leave, I would be leaving what I knew and was familiar with. But, in all actuality, I am gaining more experience as a teacher. By "moving on" as I like to call this experience, many more opportunities have come my way.
Though I can't disclose these new opportunities just yet, I can say that they are causing me to grow, flourish, and blossom, in ways that I never knew existed. These opportunities will challenge me and cause me to look at education from another standpoint and to be able to directly use my advanced education within my teaching this year. I'm excited to be able to impart wisdom into my new students along with all of the duties and responsibilities that come with saying "yes" to new opportunities.
Because, when you're 27 and in a career that you love, you have to take these opportunities when they come because they may only come knocking once.
And, for a lady that likes a roadmap and a calendar and a schedule of when things are happening, these new opportunities are encouraging me to be "okay" with not "knowing" everything all at once, but being able to gradually learn along the way.
Anyway, for those of you out there who have gone through changes (whether you consider them big or small) or are presently wading through the waters of change, please know this: it's okay. You're going to be alright. Sometimes, it's the uncertainty that pains us more than the knowing. But, once you allow space for yourself to accept the change (as hard as it may be) - then it WILL change your outlook, your attitude, and your beliefs, if you let it. That's the thing. You have to give permission for the change to actually affect your life. We can dream of change but until we actually live it and/or it comes knocking at our door, then we will never understand the effects of it.
When I think about how far I came from a shy and quiet young girl to an outspoken advocate as a teacher in the education of all students with and without special needs, I look back and think "Wow! I honestly can't believe how far I've come." And, for me, this change, this growth as a twenty-something woman, is one that I am very proud of. It has caused me to become more confident in my daily work, in my job, and in my social life. Because of this change, I know who I am in Christ and it is Him that I know who has allowed the doors to open, for opportunities to come in, and give me a hug in order to change me again.
I am so thankful for these recent opportunities and look forward to putting my heart and my soul into them to learn, to provide, to be taught, and to share/add to my knowledge.
That's all for today, folks!
Cheers!
~alex
Saturday, July 9, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Authenticity and Sincerity Are Essential in a Man
Finding an honest and genuine guy is a rarity these days. Bob Goff, author of the phenomenal book, Love Does, says it best in regards to following Jesus - however, I believe this same truth can be applied across fields to men and to any relationship, for that matter. Goff is quoted in his book as saying:
..."a lot of people who say they know Jesus have all the right words and all the right moves, but what they don't have is sincerity and authenticity."
Think: little red riding hood meets "a wolf in sheep's clothing,"
In my opinion, I feel that those couple of important, necessary, and defining qualities, that of sincerity and authenticity, are missing from men nowadays and, at the same time, becoming increasingly more infrequent.
Guys can talk a good game and walk a good walk, but if they're not authentic or sincere about life or things that they're passionate about, then it's a dead giveaway to me.
No one human being is born being "authentic" and "sincere." I believe that these two qualities are nurtured through life experiences and, simultaneously, taught (whether it be directly and/or indirectly.) Jesus is a great example, however of a man that is/was both "authentic" and "sincere." He epitomized the development of these qualities and, I feel, characterized them for all of humanity to follow.
In order for one to be sincere, they must be put into situations where they exercise and practice sincerity. Sincerity, however, is a trait that can be faked, and, like any good participant at a masquerade ball, eventually, the mask is removed and all inner qualities are revealed at that precise moment in time.
For example, when a close friend loses a loved one, you may feel sincere about wanting to help that person. With that said, what I like to call a "heart change" happens when you may be feeling the same things or similar things as your friend. Another example puts it this way: when 9/11 happened, I felt inside of my "middle schooler heart" that something, at that moment, was wrong with the world, and I immediately felt sincerity for the people who lost someone or many people.
In addition, I also believe that another important trait that is coupled with sincerity and goes hand-in-hand is that of compassion. Just like with sincerity, compassion is not a trait that everyone has and it must be learned.
As a former teacher of students with special needs, I was constantly teaching my kiddos "life skills," about abstract ideas such as compassion and using kind words and how they have the ability (well, everyone, in fact), to "fill someone's bucket" everyday or to be a "bucket dipper." A great book that points this out that I used throughout this year after observing a teacher who had used it in her classroom is "A Kids Guide to Bucket Filling" and "Have You Filled Your Bucket Today?" by Carol McCloud. Teaching kids that everyone they meet is carrying a bucket and that they have the ultimate power with their words to add to or to take away from their "invisible bucket" is a challenging and daunting task to undertake. But, undertake it, I did, and throughout my entire school year, I made it my mission to teach the kids about the importance of being kind and all of those other qualities that are difficult to put into pictures but oh, so important to share with kids. (On another side note, a great book to teach kids about the theme of "moving on" is "Stars" by Mary Lyn Ray. Pick it up and add it to your collection. You will not be disappointed.)
Anyway, back from my tangent to the original post, "authenticity" and "sincerity."
While I talked about sincerity and it's sister (I feel), "compassion," there is one quality that I believe is vital to any relationship to help it grow. One may liken it to a gardener's "water" when tending a flower bed on a farm, and that is "authenticity."
In order for any relationship to grow, it requires a good, healthy dose of authenticity. Watering with authenticity is sure to make not only the other person or people within that said relationship/friendship grow, but make YOU grow as well.
However, if someone is not "authentic," well, that is easy to spot, much like a weed growing in a sidewalk. Authenticity must be developed, nurtured, and cared for in order for it grow and blossom. If all of those ingredients are not constantly being poured forth into that plant or flower bed, then the plants won't grow and you'll have dry and wilted flowers before spring comes in like a lion.
Sometimes, I feel like I was born in the wrong "era." What I am trying to say is that though I look or "appear" young, I feel that I am quite mature for my age and it is due in part to life experiences that have caused me to grow much quicker than my peers who are in a similar age bracket as I am. As such, being a young and mature woman, (who, as times, feels like she is in her 30's) makes it incredibly challenging to find a guy. Scratch that. Finding a "guy" is the easy part. Honestly, they're everywhere! The harder, and rather, difficult part of the whole process, is locating a "man" within that herd who is outfitted with "authenticity, sincerity and compassion."
I've grown up to be a very independent woman and it would be wonderful to locate a man who does not see or use my independence as a crutch but teaches me to exercise some "dependence" throughout the course of my life. In my experiences with men, it seems that the majority, or, if we're being real with ourselves, lack the honesty and simplicity and instead, exchange those things for a one-night stand or a quick-fix relationship.
I'm looking for something more. Call me crazy, but I would rather wait my entire life for a genuine, honest, heart-felt, sincere, authentic, and compassionate relationship, than go through the whirlwind tunnel of boyfriends who want nothing more than a "trophy wife" to show off to their friends at the next outing.
A guy who is authentic, ladies, will be real and open with you, and will seek to make you happy and yearn to watch you grow. He will seek to add to what you already are and your identity, instead of trying to "take it away" from you. A guy who is authentic, will work to make you laugh and seek the best for you. A guy who is sincere will grieve alongside you but will also be sensitive enough to know when you need your space.
Though I've waited a good portion of my life for such a "man" to come along, I rely on the trust and the hope that someday, our paths will cross and it will happen. It's important to not rush into things just because you desire something. Things like relationships take time and work on both parties and forcing something that is not "meant to be" or causing the petals of the flower to burst open when they have not fully grown yet, is only a recipe for disaster. Build a relationship on friendship first. Get to know the other person. Get to know their whole being and who they are. I can't stress this enough. They are words of wisdom that were taught to me very young and I feel the need to share them with you, too.
At this time, I'm continuing to observe guys and put myself out there. I'm not stopping my daily routines and "going out" just because I don't have a guy. Ladies, please remember, that you are not defined by the "man" who is or is not around your shoulders. A guy should not "define" who you are. Your character and your uniqueness should be the ultimate factors.
For me, I am perfectly comfortable with grabbing a handful of my friends and having a good time bowling, walking in the park, playing basketball, teaching, reading, writing, beachin' it, etc. and, investing in those friendships and what God has placed before me, while I wait patiently for that man to come down the aisle.
And, honestly, if he's dressed in a plaid shirt and shorts, that's fine with me, too. A guy who is comfortable with himself and who he is, who knows his limits and who is respectful, witty, humorous, can make a girl laugh, and is genuinely interested in what she has to say; encourages her to pursue life without a roadmap sometimes; is athletic and eats healthy, enjoys music and is great with kids, that is the guy that I am willing to wait for. I feel that these qualities and many more that are just too numerous to name or mention here are not ones that are directly identifiable in the first few moments of meeting in a relationship, but ones that can be picked out within the time it takes to get to know each other, are, indeed, worth waiting for.
I am not naïve to think that this relationship does not exist; in fact, I know that it does because I've seen, witnessed, and talked to people who are living examples of that right now. And, if I end up bypassing society's "criteria" or "timeframe" for finding a guy, then so be it. For, it is not my place nor time to choose when such a man and I will meet or have met. That is out of my hands and out of my control. And for that, I am truly grateful because I would probably mess it all up.
Until then, I learn about myself, type away, write again, read, spend time with both friends and family, drink coffee with honey, travel, and rest. And, that, my friends, is okay with me.
..."a lot of people who say they know Jesus have all the right words and all the right moves, but what they don't have is sincerity and authenticity."
Think: little red riding hood meets "a wolf in sheep's clothing,"
In my opinion, I feel that those couple of important, necessary, and defining qualities, that of sincerity and authenticity, are missing from men nowadays and, at the same time, becoming increasingly more infrequent.
Guys can talk a good game and walk a good walk, but if they're not authentic or sincere about life or things that they're passionate about, then it's a dead giveaway to me.
No one human being is born being "authentic" and "sincere." I believe that these two qualities are nurtured through life experiences and, simultaneously, taught (whether it be directly and/or indirectly.) Jesus is a great example, however of a man that is/was both "authentic" and "sincere." He epitomized the development of these qualities and, I feel, characterized them for all of humanity to follow.
In order for one to be sincere, they must be put into situations where they exercise and practice sincerity. Sincerity, however, is a trait that can be faked, and, like any good participant at a masquerade ball, eventually, the mask is removed and all inner qualities are revealed at that precise moment in time.
For example, when a close friend loses a loved one, you may feel sincere about wanting to help that person. With that said, what I like to call a "heart change" happens when you may be feeling the same things or similar things as your friend. Another example puts it this way: when 9/11 happened, I felt inside of my "middle schooler heart" that something, at that moment, was wrong with the world, and I immediately felt sincerity for the people who lost someone or many people.
In addition, I also believe that another important trait that is coupled with sincerity and goes hand-in-hand is that of compassion. Just like with sincerity, compassion is not a trait that everyone has and it must be learned.
As a former teacher of students with special needs, I was constantly teaching my kiddos "life skills," about abstract ideas such as compassion and using kind words and how they have the ability (well, everyone, in fact), to "fill someone's bucket" everyday or to be a "bucket dipper." A great book that points this out that I used throughout this year after observing a teacher who had used it in her classroom is "A Kids Guide to Bucket Filling" and "Have You Filled Your Bucket Today?" by Carol McCloud. Teaching kids that everyone they meet is carrying a bucket and that they have the ultimate power with their words to add to or to take away from their "invisible bucket" is a challenging and daunting task to undertake. But, undertake it, I did, and throughout my entire school year, I made it my mission to teach the kids about the importance of being kind and all of those other qualities that are difficult to put into pictures but oh, so important to share with kids. (On another side note, a great book to teach kids about the theme of "moving on" is "Stars" by Mary Lyn Ray. Pick it up and add it to your collection. You will not be disappointed.)
Anyway, back from my tangent to the original post, "authenticity" and "sincerity."
While I talked about sincerity and it's sister (I feel), "compassion," there is one quality that I believe is vital to any relationship to help it grow. One may liken it to a gardener's "water" when tending a flower bed on a farm, and that is "authenticity."
In order for any relationship to grow, it requires a good, healthy dose of authenticity. Watering with authenticity is sure to make not only the other person or people within that said relationship/friendship grow, but make YOU grow as well.
However, if someone is not "authentic," well, that is easy to spot, much like a weed growing in a sidewalk. Authenticity must be developed, nurtured, and cared for in order for it grow and blossom. If all of those ingredients are not constantly being poured forth into that plant or flower bed, then the plants won't grow and you'll have dry and wilted flowers before spring comes in like a lion.
Sometimes, I feel like I was born in the wrong "era." What I am trying to say is that though I look or "appear" young, I feel that I am quite mature for my age and it is due in part to life experiences that have caused me to grow much quicker than my peers who are in a similar age bracket as I am. As such, being a young and mature woman, (who, as times, feels like she is in her 30's) makes it incredibly challenging to find a guy. Scratch that. Finding a "guy" is the easy part. Honestly, they're everywhere! The harder, and rather, difficult part of the whole process, is locating a "man" within that herd who is outfitted with "authenticity, sincerity and compassion."
I've grown up to be a very independent woman and it would be wonderful to locate a man who does not see or use my independence as a crutch but teaches me to exercise some "dependence" throughout the course of my life. In my experiences with men, it seems that the majority, or, if we're being real with ourselves, lack the honesty and simplicity and instead, exchange those things for a one-night stand or a quick-fix relationship.
I'm looking for something more. Call me crazy, but I would rather wait my entire life for a genuine, honest, heart-felt, sincere, authentic, and compassionate relationship, than go through the whirlwind tunnel of boyfriends who want nothing more than a "trophy wife" to show off to their friends at the next outing.
A guy who is authentic, ladies, will be real and open with you, and will seek to make you happy and yearn to watch you grow. He will seek to add to what you already are and your identity, instead of trying to "take it away" from you. A guy who is authentic, will work to make you laugh and seek the best for you. A guy who is sincere will grieve alongside you but will also be sensitive enough to know when you need your space.
Though I've waited a good portion of my life for such a "man" to come along, I rely on the trust and the hope that someday, our paths will cross and it will happen. It's important to not rush into things just because you desire something. Things like relationships take time and work on both parties and forcing something that is not "meant to be" or causing the petals of the flower to burst open when they have not fully grown yet, is only a recipe for disaster. Build a relationship on friendship first. Get to know the other person. Get to know their whole being and who they are. I can't stress this enough. They are words of wisdom that were taught to me very young and I feel the need to share them with you, too.
At this time, I'm continuing to observe guys and put myself out there. I'm not stopping my daily routines and "going out" just because I don't have a guy. Ladies, please remember, that you are not defined by the "man" who is or is not around your shoulders. A guy should not "define" who you are. Your character and your uniqueness should be the ultimate factors.
For me, I am perfectly comfortable with grabbing a handful of my friends and having a good time bowling, walking in the park, playing basketball, teaching, reading, writing, beachin' it, etc. and, investing in those friendships and what God has placed before me, while I wait patiently for that man to come down the aisle.
And, honestly, if he's dressed in a plaid shirt and shorts, that's fine with me, too. A guy who is comfortable with himself and who he is, who knows his limits and who is respectful, witty, humorous, can make a girl laugh, and is genuinely interested in what she has to say; encourages her to pursue life without a roadmap sometimes; is athletic and eats healthy, enjoys music and is great with kids, that is the guy that I am willing to wait for. I feel that these qualities and many more that are just too numerous to name or mention here are not ones that are directly identifiable in the first few moments of meeting in a relationship, but ones that can be picked out within the time it takes to get to know each other, are, indeed, worth waiting for.
I am not naïve to think that this relationship does not exist; in fact, I know that it does because I've seen, witnessed, and talked to people who are living examples of that right now. And, if I end up bypassing society's "criteria" or "timeframe" for finding a guy, then so be it. For, it is not my place nor time to choose when such a man and I will meet or have met. That is out of my hands and out of my control. And for that, I am truly grateful because I would probably mess it all up.
Until then, I learn about myself, type away, write again, read, spend time with both friends and family, drink coffee with honey, travel, and rest. And, that, my friends, is okay with me.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
A Few Thoughts from the Gluten-Free Gal
So, it's been about a good month and a half since I last posted on my blog and I thought that with school vacation this week, now would be an essential time to post.
This year, well within the past few months, actually - if I'm completely honest with you, my readers and myself, my world has changed quite dramatically in ways that I would not have been able to imagine, or predict for that matter, a year ago. My job requirements have shifted. In addition, I will be graduating from college (again!) with my Masters Degree. (As a side note, I will forever be a perpetual student and know that I will return back to the campus someday, for either another degree, an advanced certificate, or a bit of both!)
I've also realized and grappled with the fact that social media has been quite an infatuation for me and that I need to actively pause and take a break from it. With social media, I've come to the understanding that a lot of my opinions (whether consciously or subconsciously) have shaped my newfound views of the world, of relationships and of careers. With this realization, my views have been somewhat distorted recently as I've pushed back spending time with God and reading his word and accepted the fact that "floating" or "cruising" in life by myself is "okay."
Yet, I know in my heart, that God wants to do more with me in life than just "cruising" and going on "autopilot." He seeks to have me be a shining light to people that have been put in my life to teach me about things that I long for, struggle with, and seek to grow from. When life seems like it is moving too slow or too fast for me and ceases to meet my expectations, it's in those moments where I am reminded that I am not alone, that God's expectations are the ones that really matter, and that traveling on this journey with a group of people, who are equally as passionate about living their lives to the fullest every single day, is of the utmost importance.
I know that I've said this before and made multiple references to it in previous blog posts, but it bears reiteration because life is so much more than status, media, and fame. Yet, when we become comfortable with our normal everyday routines (as predictable and comforting as they may be) and we fail to see the importance in being perfectly imperfect at accepting the true presence in those moments, that we fail at being truly "present" at all. And, suffice it to say, sometimes I've been so caught up in comparing my life to that of others, that I've missed the simple moments that are really the best and most prolific moments of my life, with thoughts that they are mundane and not of importance.
Most recently, I've realized that as a soon-to-be graduate (yet again) that there are a couple of things that separate me from late twenty-somethings who are in my age bracket as well. For example, I often find myself comparing my life to that of others, particularly in one specific area: relationships. When I had coffee with a friend today, I realized that I am going to (and currently) missing out on my life when I constantly "size myself up" to people who are in relationships and/or who are conquering major milestones in their lives. Consciously, I know that I should not be comparing my life to theirs, but rather, celebrating their life and mine alongside each other. How different would my perspective be if I did that?
Secondly, I find myself feeling "bad" and "sorry" for myself that I am in my late twenties and the only one from my graduating class of about 10 women not in a relationship, not married, and without any children. Yet, I realize that in reflecting upon my status as a woman and my value and worth, that when I "guilt trip" myself, I am actually devaluing myself as a woman instead of appreciating and celebrating the things that God has allowed me to accomplish and worked for me in my twenties. And, I am in a relationship, actually: in my job as teacher, married to my profession and to the people that I serve (neighbors and coworkers alike) and that I do have "kids," my students that I get the joy and the privilege of teaching everyday.
As I've reflected upon returning back to writing again, I keep thinking, "who would want to read my posts?" yet realizing, that is an irrational thought that has no place in my life for an educated woman. And yes, though I do not have a "relationship" or "potential suitor" yet, I am grateful for the women who are in my life that have wonderfully life-giving relationships that I can look up to and point to as examples for when I have my own relationship with someday.
I think one of the struggles and hardships that young women face nowadays is that society dictates and already has this preconceived notion that young women should be married and have families early on. Granted, that scenario does happen, and, I always thought that it would happen to me, but for some reason, God decided early on that waiting and drawing me closer to him in this time as a single and independent young woman would make me stronger and use this time of being single to grow me. That is to say, he's still working on me, folks! We are all a work in progress and always training and learning more about ourselves, our lives, and the people who are put into our lives that we serve everyday.
I've come to the realization that as I get my thoughts onto paper (well, typed onto the computer), I've become trapped in the cycle that is social media and the ramifications that it brings. Not only is it bad for my eyes by constantly staring at my phone off and on all of the time, but I seek and look for approval in insignificant things that I never used to before, like those little red notifications! And the "likes" that go along with them. I mean, if we are all completely honest with ourselves for a few moments, how often do we stop what we are doing, whether it's in a conversation, etc. to check our phones or social media pages for updates and comments? My tiny fingers hurt just from doing that! And that's without writing a daily schedule on the chalkboard and all of the other "finger type tasks" that come with being a teacher to elementary school-aged children.
But, this post is less about social media (though it has done wonderful things for our world) and more about finding our value and our worth in society. At this point in my young life, I've met and acknowledged many milestones that I am well aware not many people get to experience in their twenties. And, when I sit back and ponder all of that, I am excited. Finding a husband (well, ceasing the search and being content with who I am), that my friends, is just another piece in this cobblestone pathway of my life.
Ladies, (and guys, too), lets try to acknowledge when we, and where we, tend to place our value and worth in things that are minute and that we really don't have much control over and decide, instead, to expend that energy on having tea with a neighbor, or getting up a little extra early to see the sunrise, or picking up some flowers at the grocery for a friend that needs a little "pick me up". Let's work on creating a life that God so desperately wants us to be fully present in rather than wading in the waters of another life that we have no part being in. Imagine how much our world would change and the ripples that we could cause, permeating to other islands and how our viewpoints would change if we just did that. If we just simply lived.
For my life is not about the man that does or does not have his hand around my waist - but about the life that I am fully embracing, in my own imperfect way - one day at a time.
-cheers.
This year, well within the past few months, actually - if I'm completely honest with you, my readers and myself, my world has changed quite dramatically in ways that I would not have been able to imagine, or predict for that matter, a year ago. My job requirements have shifted. In addition, I will be graduating from college (again!) with my Masters Degree. (As a side note, I will forever be a perpetual student and know that I will return back to the campus someday, for either another degree, an advanced certificate, or a bit of both!)
I've also realized and grappled with the fact that social media has been quite an infatuation for me and that I need to actively pause and take a break from it. With social media, I've come to the understanding that a lot of my opinions (whether consciously or subconsciously) have shaped my newfound views of the world, of relationships and of careers. With this realization, my views have been somewhat distorted recently as I've pushed back spending time with God and reading his word and accepted the fact that "floating" or "cruising" in life by myself is "okay."
Yet, I know in my heart, that God wants to do more with me in life than just "cruising" and going on "autopilot." He seeks to have me be a shining light to people that have been put in my life to teach me about things that I long for, struggle with, and seek to grow from. When life seems like it is moving too slow or too fast for me and ceases to meet my expectations, it's in those moments where I am reminded that I am not alone, that God's expectations are the ones that really matter, and that traveling on this journey with a group of people, who are equally as passionate about living their lives to the fullest every single day, is of the utmost importance.
I know that I've said this before and made multiple references to it in previous blog posts, but it bears reiteration because life is so much more than status, media, and fame. Yet, when we become comfortable with our normal everyday routines (as predictable and comforting as they may be) and we fail to see the importance in being perfectly imperfect at accepting the true presence in those moments, that we fail at being truly "present" at all. And, suffice it to say, sometimes I've been so caught up in comparing my life to that of others, that I've missed the simple moments that are really the best and most prolific moments of my life, with thoughts that they are mundane and not of importance.
Most recently, I've realized that as a soon-to-be graduate (yet again) that there are a couple of things that separate me from late twenty-somethings who are in my age bracket as well. For example, I often find myself comparing my life to that of others, particularly in one specific area: relationships. When I had coffee with a friend today, I realized that I am going to (and currently) missing out on my life when I constantly "size myself up" to people who are in relationships and/or who are conquering major milestones in their lives. Consciously, I know that I should not be comparing my life to theirs, but rather, celebrating their life and mine alongside each other. How different would my perspective be if I did that?
Secondly, I find myself feeling "bad" and "sorry" for myself that I am in my late twenties and the only one from my graduating class of about 10 women not in a relationship, not married, and without any children. Yet, I realize that in reflecting upon my status as a woman and my value and worth, that when I "guilt trip" myself, I am actually devaluing myself as a woman instead of appreciating and celebrating the things that God has allowed me to accomplish and worked for me in my twenties. And, I am in a relationship, actually: in my job as teacher, married to my profession and to the people that I serve (neighbors and coworkers alike) and that I do have "kids," my students that I get the joy and the privilege of teaching everyday.
As I've reflected upon returning back to writing again, I keep thinking, "who would want to read my posts?" yet realizing, that is an irrational thought that has no place in my life for an educated woman. And yes, though I do not have a "relationship" or "potential suitor" yet, I am grateful for the women who are in my life that have wonderfully life-giving relationships that I can look up to and point to as examples for when I have my own relationship with someday.
I think one of the struggles and hardships that young women face nowadays is that society dictates and already has this preconceived notion that young women should be married and have families early on. Granted, that scenario does happen, and, I always thought that it would happen to me, but for some reason, God decided early on that waiting and drawing me closer to him in this time as a single and independent young woman would make me stronger and use this time of being single to grow me. That is to say, he's still working on me, folks! We are all a work in progress and always training and learning more about ourselves, our lives, and the people who are put into our lives that we serve everyday.
I've come to the realization that as I get my thoughts onto paper (well, typed onto the computer), I've become trapped in the cycle that is social media and the ramifications that it brings. Not only is it bad for my eyes by constantly staring at my phone off and on all of the time, but I seek and look for approval in insignificant things that I never used to before, like those little red notifications! And the "likes" that go along with them. I mean, if we are all completely honest with ourselves for a few moments, how often do we stop what we are doing, whether it's in a conversation, etc. to check our phones or social media pages for updates and comments? My tiny fingers hurt just from doing that! And that's without writing a daily schedule on the chalkboard and all of the other "finger type tasks" that come with being a teacher to elementary school-aged children.
But, this post is less about social media (though it has done wonderful things for our world) and more about finding our value and our worth in society. At this point in my young life, I've met and acknowledged many milestones that I am well aware not many people get to experience in their twenties. And, when I sit back and ponder all of that, I am excited. Finding a husband (well, ceasing the search and being content with who I am), that my friends, is just another piece in this cobblestone pathway of my life.
Ladies, (and guys, too), lets try to acknowledge when we, and where we, tend to place our value and worth in things that are minute and that we really don't have much control over and decide, instead, to expend that energy on having tea with a neighbor, or getting up a little extra early to see the sunrise, or picking up some flowers at the grocery for a friend that needs a little "pick me up". Let's work on creating a life that God so desperately wants us to be fully present in rather than wading in the waters of another life that we have no part being in. Imagine how much our world would change and the ripples that we could cause, permeating to other islands and how our viewpoints would change if we just did that. If we just simply lived.
For my life is not about the man that does or does not have his hand around my waist - but about the life that I am fully embracing, in my own imperfect way - one day at a time.
-cheers.
Monday, February 15, 2016
"My List for a Guy"
I bet that every girl has written "that list" before. You know, "the list," ladies - the one that usually begins with something along the lines of "The Things I Want in a Man." At one point or another in our lives, I can honestly say that I've fashioned at least two or three of these lists; one as a young girl, one as a teenager, and now one as an adult. And, the funny thing is, as I get older, my list gets shorter and shorter and the points become more and more abstract.
When I was in high school, I was encouraged to chronicle the "traits" or "characteristics" that I looked for in a future man. At that point in a young 16 year-old-girl's life, we're thinking about appearances, height, hair color, athleticism, etc. We're not even thinking about debt, student loans, has a good job, etc. But, by the time we're adults, ladies, I reckon that some of these "essential qualifications" begin to change.
I recently came across my most updated "list" that I compiled when I took a road trip up to New Hampshire with a couple of friends. I completely forgot that I had it, until I sat down with my journal to write tonight. As I sat there holding my "list for a future man," I realized that as women, (well, as a teacher, really) I am so accustomed to lists and to checking things off in a box to get them accomplished, that I sometimes inadvertently apply the same process to finding a man.
This is not to say that we shouldn't know what we are looking for in a potential mate. All of us have those "deal-breakers" or things that we can just live without. Growing up, I wouldn't give a second look to a guy who had a tattoo. Now, it's not as a big deal for me (depending upon how many and their location :)) Instincts are very important when it comes to relationships and dating. A potential future interest should spark some curiosity and amazement, wonder and joy within you, without giving too much of himself or herself away.
As a twenty-something young woman, I reflect back on my list often. I also understand that my "list" has drastically decreased from over 20 items as a teenage girl to now 4 (Significant change, huh?)
Bet you're all wondering what's on that list, right? Well, you're in luck - because I'm going to share it with you.
In my current, updated, 2.0 version of "a list for a future man," I am seeking a guy that displays his attractiveness in the heart (but, physically wouldn't be too shabby to look at, too.) A man who can take stock of the things that he is passionate about and the areas of his life that drive him to do well, adds more fuel to the fire of love and relationships. The guy that I am looking for shouldn't just be considered "eye candy," but should have an honest and humble way about him that causes him to be attractive. For some people, their "attractiveness" is fueled by the way in which they help kids, for others, it's the way that they navigate the waters of Wall Street or a Fortune 500 Company. As for me, I am of the simple and traditional kind that attractiveness should extend beyond the "physical" and into the realm of the world.
Secondly, I want my man to have a healthy dose of humor. That is, he should be able to make me laugh - not by trying but by having an innate and natural ability to cause the people around him to laugh at appropriate times. He should have a good sense of humor and know how to balance that with a tone of seriousness when the time calls for it.
Third, the potential mate should have some "unstructuredness" in him to balance out my need for "structure" and routines. That is to say that the guy needs to be able to encourage me to "slow down" and embrace not having a "list" and "throwing the road map out the window" every once in a while. He needs to be able to show me that sometimes, we cannot plan for life and its obstacles and must create our own and embrace those trials and triumphs that come our way. He must also remind me that I needn't be "in control" all of the time and reassure me that for those times in which I am not in control, that life, and the circumstances which surround it, will be okay.
Finally, (and this is a personal preference of mine), the guy should be tall and good at nighttime driving. I know you're asking me why I am looking for a man that is taller than this girl who has not grown an inch since she was in the fifth grade. Well, I often have difficulty reaching my favorite frozen butternut squash in the freezer aisle at the grocery store and often have to use a pair of salad tongs to reach it. When I reach for the dishes in my house or am trying to get glassware down from the cupboard, more often than not, I am trying to find inventive ways to bring them to my level. (It's not easy being 5 feet, but It's not something that I regret either.) And forget if I accidentally pull the kitchen shade up too high! Now, I have to use a fork or a long spook to pull it down. Doing the laundry also poses another problem in itself. If I don't wear my clogs that add at least another 1.5 to 2 inches or heels to reach into the washing machine, then I struggle to get the clothes out. Now, I'm not saying that a man who is tall will "magically" solve all of these obstacles, but what I am hinting at is the fact that this last piece would be the "icing on the cake" so to speak. And, what about the cherry, you ask? Well, I use it as decoration, but I'm not really a fan of cherries, so if he likes those too, then I can just give it to him.
What's on your "list?" If you are married, did you ever form one? Did it change throughout the course of your dating life, single life, etc.? Any advice you'd recommend to this single, gluten free gal?
-cheers!
When I was in high school, I was encouraged to chronicle the "traits" or "characteristics" that I looked for in a future man. At that point in a young 16 year-old-girl's life, we're thinking about appearances, height, hair color, athleticism, etc. We're not even thinking about debt, student loans, has a good job, etc. But, by the time we're adults, ladies, I reckon that some of these "essential qualifications" begin to change.
I recently came across my most updated "list" that I compiled when I took a road trip up to New Hampshire with a couple of friends. I completely forgot that I had it, until I sat down with my journal to write tonight. As I sat there holding my "list for a future man," I realized that as women, (well, as a teacher, really) I am so accustomed to lists and to checking things off in a box to get them accomplished, that I sometimes inadvertently apply the same process to finding a man.
This is not to say that we shouldn't know what we are looking for in a potential mate. All of us have those "deal-breakers" or things that we can just live without. Growing up, I wouldn't give a second look to a guy who had a tattoo. Now, it's not as a big deal for me (depending upon how many and their location :)) Instincts are very important when it comes to relationships and dating. A potential future interest should spark some curiosity and amazement, wonder and joy within you, without giving too much of himself or herself away.
As a twenty-something young woman, I reflect back on my list often. I also understand that my "list" has drastically decreased from over 20 items as a teenage girl to now 4 (Significant change, huh?)
Bet you're all wondering what's on that list, right? Well, you're in luck - because I'm going to share it with you.
In my current, updated, 2.0 version of "a list for a future man," I am seeking a guy that displays his attractiveness in the heart (but, physically wouldn't be too shabby to look at, too.) A man who can take stock of the things that he is passionate about and the areas of his life that drive him to do well, adds more fuel to the fire of love and relationships. The guy that I am looking for shouldn't just be considered "eye candy," but should have an honest and humble way about him that causes him to be attractive. For some people, their "attractiveness" is fueled by the way in which they help kids, for others, it's the way that they navigate the waters of Wall Street or a Fortune 500 Company. As for me, I am of the simple and traditional kind that attractiveness should extend beyond the "physical" and into the realm of the world.
Secondly, I want my man to have a healthy dose of humor. That is, he should be able to make me laugh - not by trying but by having an innate and natural ability to cause the people around him to laugh at appropriate times. He should have a good sense of humor and know how to balance that with a tone of seriousness when the time calls for it.
Third, the potential mate should have some "unstructuredness" in him to balance out my need for "structure" and routines. That is to say that the guy needs to be able to encourage me to "slow down" and embrace not having a "list" and "throwing the road map out the window" every once in a while. He needs to be able to show me that sometimes, we cannot plan for life and its obstacles and must create our own and embrace those trials and triumphs that come our way. He must also remind me that I needn't be "in control" all of the time and reassure me that for those times in which I am not in control, that life, and the circumstances which surround it, will be okay.
Finally, (and this is a personal preference of mine), the guy should be tall and good at nighttime driving. I know you're asking me why I am looking for a man that is taller than this girl who has not grown an inch since she was in the fifth grade. Well, I often have difficulty reaching my favorite frozen butternut squash in the freezer aisle at the grocery store and often have to use a pair of salad tongs to reach it. When I reach for the dishes in my house or am trying to get glassware down from the cupboard, more often than not, I am trying to find inventive ways to bring them to my level. (It's not easy being 5 feet, but It's not something that I regret either.) And forget if I accidentally pull the kitchen shade up too high! Now, I have to use a fork or a long spook to pull it down. Doing the laundry also poses another problem in itself. If I don't wear my clogs that add at least another 1.5 to 2 inches or heels to reach into the washing machine, then I struggle to get the clothes out. Now, I'm not saying that a man who is tall will "magically" solve all of these obstacles, but what I am hinting at is the fact that this last piece would be the "icing on the cake" so to speak. And, what about the cherry, you ask? Well, I use it as decoration, but I'm not really a fan of cherries, so if he likes those too, then I can just give it to him.
What's on your "list?" If you are married, did you ever form one? Did it change throughout the course of your dating life, single life, etc.? Any advice you'd recommend to this single, gluten free gal?
-cheers!
Sunday, February 14, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 14th
Dear Faithful Readers,
Well, today is the day: February 14th, Valentine's Day! And, as such, my last blog post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series.
Today was the first Valentine's Day in which I didn't feel sorry for myself about not having a "significant other" to celebrate the day with. In fact, I was gently reminded (in many ways over the past 14 days) of how loved I already am. For example, I am both grateful and thankful that I have two wonderful and loving parents who support me in both my career and in my personal life. I am blessed to have an "extended single life," as I think I may start calling it, in order to be able to appreciate my parents, spend more time with them, and learn about myself.
Second, I am able to learn how to care for myself and incorporate the activities that I like into my daily life. Today, I took myself to the coffee shop (yet, again for it is my second home), read the newspaper and dove right into Ernest Hemingway's book, The Sun Also Rises. Hemingway has a natural ebb and flow to his writing that makes it so easy to read and yet so hard to put down. The dichotomy of being such an incredible writer and author is amazing. There is a part of the book where he lets us into the lives of Jake and Lady Brett. Their conversation is a peculiar one about love, as stated in this following excerpt:
"It's funny," I said. "It's very funny. And, it's a lot of fun, too, to be in love."
"Do you think so?" Her eyes looked flat again.
"I don't mean fun that way. It's an enjoyable feeling."
For Valentine's Day, society has altered the human race into "thinking" or "believing" for that matter, that love is all about the "romantic" kind. However, we fail to realize the other types of love that are around us on a daily basis, such as the love for our neighbors, the familial love, the friend love, etc.
Love is so much more than that. I know that someday, I will experience the romantic side of love. I always thought that would come in the city, and the state that I live in, that is, Providence, RI. Yet, an article published in today's Providence Journal has indicated maybe it's not me, but the "numbers" as the writer had shared. Written by Jenna Pelletier, Journal Staff Writer for the Journal, "Providence is the second-worst dating city in the country for young, college-educated women seeking a college-educated man." Either more men should come to RI or I should pack my suitcases and jet off to California, where the male population seems a little more promising. (haha) You can read the full article by clicking here: love article
Along similar lines, Mark Patinkin writes a wonderfully hilarious commentary, that you can find, and that you should absolutely read, here. He writes that when women say "don't bother," they absolutely mean "bother." He also writes that "...if you get women a Crock-Pot or Swiffer on Valentine's Day it's a war crime." Then, he shares a tidbit of information amidst the amusement: "I suppose the difference is women measure affection by what you buy them. One told me it counts against you if you get roses at the grocery instead of at a florist - even if they're identical. That's a lot of pressure."
And so, my friends, I leave you with the last blog post of Valentine's Day 2016. May you know just how loved and appreciated you already are, whether you're single, in a relationship, engaged, recently broken up, married, widowed, etc. We all deserve to experience love and it is my hope that you experience is this year.
-cheers!
Well, today is the day: February 14th, Valentine's Day! And, as such, my last blog post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series.
Today was the first Valentine's Day in which I didn't feel sorry for myself about not having a "significant other" to celebrate the day with. In fact, I was gently reminded (in many ways over the past 14 days) of how loved I already am. For example, I am both grateful and thankful that I have two wonderful and loving parents who support me in both my career and in my personal life. I am blessed to have an "extended single life," as I think I may start calling it, in order to be able to appreciate my parents, spend more time with them, and learn about myself.
Second, I am able to learn how to care for myself and incorporate the activities that I like into my daily life. Today, I took myself to the coffee shop (yet, again for it is my second home), read the newspaper and dove right into Ernest Hemingway's book, The Sun Also Rises. Hemingway has a natural ebb and flow to his writing that makes it so easy to read and yet so hard to put down. The dichotomy of being such an incredible writer and author is amazing. There is a part of the book where he lets us into the lives of Jake and Lady Brett. Their conversation is a peculiar one about love, as stated in this following excerpt:
"It's funny," I said. "It's very funny. And, it's a lot of fun, too, to be in love."
"Do you think so?" Her eyes looked flat again.
"I don't mean fun that way. It's an enjoyable feeling."
For Valentine's Day, society has altered the human race into "thinking" or "believing" for that matter, that love is all about the "romantic" kind. However, we fail to realize the other types of love that are around us on a daily basis, such as the love for our neighbors, the familial love, the friend love, etc.
Love is so much more than that. I know that someday, I will experience the romantic side of love. I always thought that would come in the city, and the state that I live in, that is, Providence, RI. Yet, an article published in today's Providence Journal has indicated maybe it's not me, but the "numbers" as the writer had shared. Written by Jenna Pelletier, Journal Staff Writer for the Journal, "Providence is the second-worst dating city in the country for young, college-educated women seeking a college-educated man." Either more men should come to RI or I should pack my suitcases and jet off to California, where the male population seems a little more promising. (haha) You can read the full article by clicking here: love article
Along similar lines, Mark Patinkin writes a wonderfully hilarious commentary, that you can find, and that you should absolutely read, here. He writes that when women say "don't bother," they absolutely mean "bother." He also writes that "...if you get women a Crock-Pot or Swiffer on Valentine's Day it's a war crime." Then, he shares a tidbit of information amidst the amusement: "I suppose the difference is women measure affection by what you buy them. One told me it counts against you if you get roses at the grocery instead of at a florist - even if they're identical. That's a lot of pressure."
And so, my friends, I leave you with the last blog post of Valentine's Day 2016. May you know just how loved and appreciated you already are, whether you're single, in a relationship, engaged, recently broken up, married, widowed, etc. We all deserve to experience love and it is my hope that you experience is this year.
-cheers!
Saturday, February 13, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: February 13
Dear Readers,
This is the second to last post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I've learned a lot about myself within these past 13 days, and know that I will continue to learn about life, love, romance, and the world throughout my life. Committing myself to writing a post everyday has also been soothing for me. It has caused me to revisit that part of my life that misses and desires to write. It has taught me to lay all of my thoughts out there, whether it's typing behind a computer screen or writing in a journal, or jotting down some thoughts on a sticky note or a napkin at the local coffee shop. Writing is a way of life for me and I'm glad that I was able to "stick to it" in order to make it a healthy habit. It is my hope that in this Lenten season (for 40 days), I will be able to continue the writing process, faithfully, everyday or every couple of days - in order to write, process, and share my thoughts.
Today, I allowed my mind to wander while treating myself to some long-desired things that I enjoy. I took a drive to Chepachet, RI with the intention of going to Brown and Hopkins Country Store (the oldest country store!) and the Town Trader Antiques (I found an amethyst candy dish). Whenever I need some time to think, I somehow end up there. It's a good 20-25 minute drive and it's a beautiful ride filled with green pastures and farmland (at least in the spring and summer months!). So, I visited both places and then decided to check out a new destination, The Purple Cat.
The Purple Cat is a beautiful, hardwood floor, open beam kinda-place. It was the first time in a very long time that I felt relaxed, as I sat and listened to live acoustic music and piano renditions of oldies songs, with a warm cup of black coffee with honey nestled between my hands. I learned that they make gluten and dairy free crepes, all by asking- so I had a dessert one with bananas, strawberries, cinnamon, and sugar! Do you know how long it's been since I had a crepe?! It was amazing and so wonderfully satisfying!
I had no schedule and no place to be, so I was able to enjoy the two hours that I found myself sitting at that hardwood table with the word "eat" etched into it. It's a place that I definitely want to come back to in the near future. I forgot how much I love to listen to live music and the place would be a wonderful venue for an event someday.
Anyway, I learned that as a "single gluten free gal" there are areas of my life where I need to branch out and spread my wings. I can be like the squirrel who buries his food under the ground and then may forget where he put it, or, I can be like the tufted titmouse bird, who comes back to the tree where it's provided with food, because it knows that bird seed with dried fruit is waiting for it.
Most times, I am like the squirrel, especially when it comes to men. I used to be incredibly shy. Now, I see more "bird-like" qualities in me. This petite tufted titmouse feels free flying to new places to explore and try an assortment of bird food. She also feels excited when she makes time for herself, because it's in those moments that you're not just caring for others, but finding solace, balance and joy in healthfully caring for yourself, too.
This is the second to last post in the "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I've learned a lot about myself within these past 13 days, and know that I will continue to learn about life, love, romance, and the world throughout my life. Committing myself to writing a post everyday has also been soothing for me. It has caused me to revisit that part of my life that misses and desires to write. It has taught me to lay all of my thoughts out there, whether it's typing behind a computer screen or writing in a journal, or jotting down some thoughts on a sticky note or a napkin at the local coffee shop. Writing is a way of life for me and I'm glad that I was able to "stick to it" in order to make it a healthy habit. It is my hope that in this Lenten season (for 40 days), I will be able to continue the writing process, faithfully, everyday or every couple of days - in order to write, process, and share my thoughts.
Today, I allowed my mind to wander while treating myself to some long-desired things that I enjoy. I took a drive to Chepachet, RI with the intention of going to Brown and Hopkins Country Store (the oldest country store!) and the Town Trader Antiques (I found an amethyst candy dish). Whenever I need some time to think, I somehow end up there. It's a good 20-25 minute drive and it's a beautiful ride filled with green pastures and farmland (at least in the spring and summer months!). So, I visited both places and then decided to check out a new destination, The Purple Cat.
The Purple Cat is a beautiful, hardwood floor, open beam kinda-place. It was the first time in a very long time that I felt relaxed, as I sat and listened to live acoustic music and piano renditions of oldies songs, with a warm cup of black coffee with honey nestled between my hands. I learned that they make gluten and dairy free crepes, all by asking- so I had a dessert one with bananas, strawberries, cinnamon, and sugar! Do you know how long it's been since I had a crepe?! It was amazing and so wonderfully satisfying!
I had no schedule and no place to be, so I was able to enjoy the two hours that I found myself sitting at that hardwood table with the word "eat" etched into it. It's a place that I definitely want to come back to in the near future. I forgot how much I love to listen to live music and the place would be a wonderful venue for an event someday.
Anyway, I learned that as a "single gluten free gal" there are areas of my life where I need to branch out and spread my wings. I can be like the squirrel who buries his food under the ground and then may forget where he put it, or, I can be like the tufted titmouse bird, who comes back to the tree where it's provided with food, because it knows that bird seed with dried fruit is waiting for it.
Most times, I am like the squirrel, especially when it comes to men. I used to be incredibly shy. Now, I see more "bird-like" qualities in me. This petite tufted titmouse feels free flying to new places to explore and try an assortment of bird food. She also feels excited when she makes time for herself, because it's in those moments that you're not just caring for others, but finding solace, balance and joy in healthfully caring for yourself, too.
Friday, February 12, 2016
February 12th - An Open Letter to the "Friend" Who Sent Me a Package
Dear Friend,
Today, I came home from a very challenging day at work. Ever have those days where things just seem so difficult, no matter how hard you try? Well, today was one of those days. It was a long day. I knew it was going to be a trying day when I accidentally slammed my shoulder into one of those stacked cases that are like 5.5ft tall. (It still hurts as I'm typing this.)
I woke up at 4:45am, stayed at school late (we had early dismissal), and then went to tutor. I came home just as the sun was setting, a reminder that days have a beginning and an ending. I saw your package and opened it up on the counter.
There was no return address but the handwriting looked so familiar. I opened it up to find a wonderful assortment of "teacher things." Thank you for the notecards, paperclips, mouse pad papers, and those other trinkets that you had sent. Your envelope slipped out and I saw my name "Alex." Again, your handwriting had that same familiarity to it. I recognized your writing but can't seem to put my finger on exactly which friend you are.
Nevertheless, your note reminded me that I am never alone, that God loves me and that if I keep pressing forward, He will give me the desires of my heart in time.
Your package arrived to me at exactly the moment that I needed it.
I wish I knew which friend you were to say "thank you." But, I just have to take comfort in knowing that your kind, and thoughtful gesture made my day.
With your kindness, I also realized that when I finally have a future relationship with a guy, I will have to be "okay" with not being "in control," "having a plan," and allowing another person to care for me "just because." I'm so used to doing things for other people, that it felt different being on the "receiving" side. Today, receiving your package is what I needed.
So, from one "Sister in Christ" to another,
Thank You.
Alex
Today, I came home from a very challenging day at work. Ever have those days where things just seem so difficult, no matter how hard you try? Well, today was one of those days. It was a long day. I knew it was going to be a trying day when I accidentally slammed my shoulder into one of those stacked cases that are like 5.5ft tall. (It still hurts as I'm typing this.)
I woke up at 4:45am, stayed at school late (we had early dismissal), and then went to tutor. I came home just as the sun was setting, a reminder that days have a beginning and an ending. I saw your package and opened it up on the counter.
There was no return address but the handwriting looked so familiar. I opened it up to find a wonderful assortment of "teacher things." Thank you for the notecards, paperclips, mouse pad papers, and those other trinkets that you had sent. Your envelope slipped out and I saw my name "Alex." Again, your handwriting had that same familiarity to it. I recognized your writing but can't seem to put my finger on exactly which friend you are.
Nevertheless, your note reminded me that I am never alone, that God loves me and that if I keep pressing forward, He will give me the desires of my heart in time.
Your package arrived to me at exactly the moment that I needed it.
I wish I knew which friend you were to say "thank you." But, I just have to take comfort in knowing that your kind, and thoughtful gesture made my day.
With your kindness, I also realized that when I finally have a future relationship with a guy, I will have to be "okay" with not being "in control," "having a plan," and allowing another person to care for me "just because." I'm so used to doing things for other people, that it felt different being on the "receiving" side. Today, receiving your package is what I needed.
So, from one "Sister in Christ" to another,
Thank You.
Alex
Thursday, February 11, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: February 11th: My Top 5 Places to Have "That" Romantic Meal
Hi Friends,
Well, I'm back on track with my "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I can't believe it's been 11 days of posts already. Thank you for your continued support in reading. Only 3 more days left until the big "Valentine's Day!"
Anyway, as I was driving home from work yesterday - I realized that I was hungry. After a long working day - my stomach was feeling the "hunger vibes." I was craving anything and everything - but then finally settled on Chinese food - complete with an assortment of vegetables. Moo Goo Gain Pan is my favorite! Small pieces of chicken sautéed and tossed with broccoli, bok choy, water chestnuts, and pea pods.
Speaking of which: here are my top 5 restaurants you should try with that "special someone."
1. The Old Canteen (Providence, RI). Okay, I'm Italian and this is my favorite restaurant. It's nice to dress up once in a while and go out, and that's exactly what you have to do at this fancy place. I also have a pink blazer this matches the walls inside, which is another reason why it's a top spot for me. They serve the best 7 course meal and it's filled with so many memories for me. Located right by the "pineapple" on Federal Hill, it's sure not to disappoint!
2. Quito's Seafood Restaurant (Bristol, RI). They are located right on the water in Bristol, at the end of East Bay Bike Path. One summer, my friend and I ran and rollerbladed on this path. I made the mistake of using my rollerblades from when I was in the fifth grade. They still fit, but the padding inside was worn and I had blisters for days!!! If I was to rollerblade again, I'd totally buy new ones. Quito's has the best jumbo sea scallops and it's the only place where I can have French fries that are cooked in their own fry pan. It's beautiful in April, May and in the breezy summer months.
3. Public Kitchen (downtown Providence) right next to The Vets. It's a great place to eat after watching a show in that beautifully restored building! Public has a giant spiral staircase leading into the main room and it's so regal and just simple. I get lost in the bathrooms because they are incredibly huge, and the experience is memorable.
4. Providence G (G Pub) - Orange Street in Providence. This place is wonderful! My favorite part is the rooftop. It's the place to be in the summer, to watch the sun set on the roof. It's relaxing and reminds you of just how small we are compared to the world. And let me tell you, the sunsets from that roof are amazing. It's a little pricey, but you're paying for the ambiance and beauty of an amazing experience.
5. Which brings me to number 5. As you look out from the roof at the Providence G, you will spot the red sign of the "Biltmore" staring back. It's beautiful and has a personal significance for me.
It's important to know that any place/restaurant with music (particularly jazz), is a plus for me!
But aside, from these recommendations - the best place to be with your "significant other" or that "dreamy guy" that you like, is the place where you two have established a connection. It's a place where you both feel comfortable and call home. And, it's at that place where you should celebrate your love, appreciation, and value for each other this February 14th.
-until tomorrow, friends.
cheers!
Well, I'm back on track with my "14 Days of Valentine's Day" series. I can't believe it's been 11 days of posts already. Thank you for your continued support in reading. Only 3 more days left until the big "Valentine's Day!"
Anyway, as I was driving home from work yesterday - I realized that I was hungry. After a long working day - my stomach was feeling the "hunger vibes." I was craving anything and everything - but then finally settled on Chinese food - complete with an assortment of vegetables. Moo Goo Gain Pan is my favorite! Small pieces of chicken sautéed and tossed with broccoli, bok choy, water chestnuts, and pea pods.
Speaking of which: here are my top 5 restaurants you should try with that "special someone."
1. The Old Canteen (Providence, RI). Okay, I'm Italian and this is my favorite restaurant. It's nice to dress up once in a while and go out, and that's exactly what you have to do at this fancy place. I also have a pink blazer this matches the walls inside, which is another reason why it's a top spot for me. They serve the best 7 course meal and it's filled with so many memories for me. Located right by the "pineapple" on Federal Hill, it's sure not to disappoint!
2. Quito's Seafood Restaurant (Bristol, RI). They are located right on the water in Bristol, at the end of East Bay Bike Path. One summer, my friend and I ran and rollerbladed on this path. I made the mistake of using my rollerblades from when I was in the fifth grade. They still fit, but the padding inside was worn and I had blisters for days!!! If I was to rollerblade again, I'd totally buy new ones. Quito's has the best jumbo sea scallops and it's the only place where I can have French fries that are cooked in their own fry pan. It's beautiful in April, May and in the breezy summer months.
3. Public Kitchen (downtown Providence) right next to The Vets. It's a great place to eat after watching a show in that beautifully restored building! Public has a giant spiral staircase leading into the main room and it's so regal and just simple. I get lost in the bathrooms because they are incredibly huge, and the experience is memorable.
4. Providence G (G Pub) - Orange Street in Providence. This place is wonderful! My favorite part is the rooftop. It's the place to be in the summer, to watch the sun set on the roof. It's relaxing and reminds you of just how small we are compared to the world. And let me tell you, the sunsets from that roof are amazing. It's a little pricey, but you're paying for the ambiance and beauty of an amazing experience.
5. Which brings me to number 5. As you look out from the roof at the Providence G, you will spot the red sign of the "Biltmore" staring back. It's beautiful and has a personal significance for me.
It's important to know that any place/restaurant with music (particularly jazz), is a plus for me!
But aside, from these recommendations - the best place to be with your "significant other" or that "dreamy guy" that you like, is the place where you two have established a connection. It's a place where you both feel comfortable and call home. And, it's at that place where you should celebrate your love, appreciation, and value for each other this February 14th.
-until tomorrow, friends.
cheers!
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Commerciality of Feb. 14th
Hi Friends and Faithful Readers,
I walked into CVS today and was completely overcome by the red Valentine's Day balloons, teddy bears sitting atop the shelves, the Russell Stover's candy heart boxes and the scent of the many (many!) flowers waiting patiently to be purchased at the front counter. (This whole experience has been quite overwhelming for your single, gluten-free gal!) Not to mention, the candy (with the exception of the sweet tarts and the cherry hearts - not cinnamon!), which is not gluten and dairy free. Thank goodness for establishments like Wildflour. They are truly a life saver! No pun intended.
Anyway, after being completely overcome by my singleness as a young, twenty-something woman, I realized, yet again, that Valentine's Day is highly over commercialized. My grandfather used to say that your love for a person should be celebrated/acknowledged throughout the year and not just on one day. Sure, it's a great day for a "culmination" of appreciation that you have for one person, your significant other, or, for a group of people like your family, but, perhaps it's the material things that overwhelm me, rather than the holiday itself.
In recent years, Valentine's Day seems to be highly focused on the "money" aspect of supporting companies and manufacturers with the typical cost and demand of selling pink and red and white fluffy and sweet things :) Greeting cards are a whole other subject that deserves a separate post altogether. At times, Valentine's Day seems like a "money making holiday" and I wish that it could return to the simplicity of a single rose instead of a dozen, from homemade chocolates instead of store bought, to thoughtful and intelligent conversations that talk about the world and life and the future instead of circling around the "material" things.
Just because I am single as this Valentine's Day is approaching, doesn't mean that I should be feeling like I am "missing" something. Honestly, I take joy and happiness in listening to my friends and co-workers. I take joy in lighting up their day, in seeing their the corners of their mouths turn up into a smile and in their caring thoughts and words. To me, making a family member happy and seeing a neighbor have food on their table when they've been at the hospital all day, is a symbol and a selfless sign of love itself.
Someday, I hope to experience that "romantic" kind of love, but until then - I'm pleasantly enjoying this teacher life as your single, gluten-free gal.
-cheers!
I walked into CVS today and was completely overcome by the red Valentine's Day balloons, teddy bears sitting atop the shelves, the Russell Stover's candy heart boxes and the scent of the many (many!) flowers waiting patiently to be purchased at the front counter. (This whole experience has been quite overwhelming for your single, gluten-free gal!) Not to mention, the candy (with the exception of the sweet tarts and the cherry hearts - not cinnamon!), which is not gluten and dairy free. Thank goodness for establishments like Wildflour. They are truly a life saver! No pun intended.
Anyway, after being completely overcome by my singleness as a young, twenty-something woman, I realized, yet again, that Valentine's Day is highly over commercialized. My grandfather used to say that your love for a person should be celebrated/acknowledged throughout the year and not just on one day. Sure, it's a great day for a "culmination" of appreciation that you have for one person, your significant other, or, for a group of people like your family, but, perhaps it's the material things that overwhelm me, rather than the holiday itself.
In recent years, Valentine's Day seems to be highly focused on the "money" aspect of supporting companies and manufacturers with the typical cost and demand of selling pink and red and white fluffy and sweet things :) Greeting cards are a whole other subject that deserves a separate post altogether. At times, Valentine's Day seems like a "money making holiday" and I wish that it could return to the simplicity of a single rose instead of a dozen, from homemade chocolates instead of store bought, to thoughtful and intelligent conversations that talk about the world and life and the future instead of circling around the "material" things.
Just because I am single as this Valentine's Day is approaching, doesn't mean that I should be feeling like I am "missing" something. Honestly, I take joy and happiness in listening to my friends and co-workers. I take joy in lighting up their day, in seeing their the corners of their mouths turn up into a smile and in their caring thoughts and words. To me, making a family member happy and seeing a neighbor have food on their table when they've been at the hospital all day, is a symbol and a selfless sign of love itself.
Someday, I hope to experience that "romantic" kind of love, but until then - I'm pleasantly enjoying this teacher life as your single, gluten-free gal.
-cheers!
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
The 14 Days of Valentine's Day: Feb. 9th: Is it Really All About the "Glitz and Glam?"
Hi Readers,
I have a question for you.
Is Valentine's Day really all about the "glitz and the glam?" Is it about the store bought chocolates, the Russell Stover's sweets, the roses, the endless flowers and teddy bears, the sentimental cards? Or, is Valentine's Day more than just the "material" things?
"Everything in moderation" is a good quote to live by. Too much of a good thing, can be hurtful or even, in some cases, detrimental. I'm not saying that we should not buy/purchase our loved ones valuable things. Everyone deserves to have their affection for their significant other shown in a variety of ways. However, if material things are the only ways by which one shows their love to another - then we should probably examine both the short and long term affects on ourselves and on the other person that these possessions have.
We all like to be appreciated with material things. I love flowers, especially Zinnias! This does not go to say that "love" (however that looks for you) should be represented only in such "material" ways. In my opinion, love should be represented every day, and not just on one holiday. It should be a holiday that we celebrate our love for each other, our jobs, our friends, our co-workers, or workplaces, our neighbors, our families, etc. It should also be a holiday where that may be a culmination of the ways in which we show our love in these experiences throughout the entire year or leading up to the celebration, for that matter, too. Love is not just romantic (though society has somehow geared it towards that in recent years) but includes familial and friendship, too.
Love is, truly priceless. Sure, a nice open heart necklace from Kay's Jeweler's may be lovely (!) but a listening ear, a kind word, a thoughtful, intelligent conversation, a cup of coffee - those things mean more to me than a dozen roses, assorted chocolates, and teddy bears combined! Though, flowers would brighten up my desk and I could probably teach a whole lesson on roses and tie it into science and math and writing :)
This Valentine's Day, lets take a deeper look into the things that we "love" and the things that we "care about." May we search for those that hold a deep place in our hearts and seek to share them with the people who are in our lives.
-cheers.
I have a question for you.
Is Valentine's Day really all about the "glitz and the glam?" Is it about the store bought chocolates, the Russell Stover's sweets, the roses, the endless flowers and teddy bears, the sentimental cards? Or, is Valentine's Day more than just the "material" things?
"Everything in moderation" is a good quote to live by. Too much of a good thing, can be hurtful or even, in some cases, detrimental. I'm not saying that we should not buy/purchase our loved ones valuable things. Everyone deserves to have their affection for their significant other shown in a variety of ways. However, if material things are the only ways by which one shows their love to another - then we should probably examine both the short and long term affects on ourselves and on the other person that these possessions have.
We all like to be appreciated with material things. I love flowers, especially Zinnias! This does not go to say that "love" (however that looks for you) should be represented only in such "material" ways. In my opinion, love should be represented every day, and not just on one holiday. It should be a holiday that we celebrate our love for each other, our jobs, our friends, our co-workers, or workplaces, our neighbors, our families, etc. It should also be a holiday where that may be a culmination of the ways in which we show our love in these experiences throughout the entire year or leading up to the celebration, for that matter, too. Love is not just romantic (though society has somehow geared it towards that in recent years) but includes familial and friendship, too.
Love is, truly priceless. Sure, a nice open heart necklace from Kay's Jeweler's may be lovely (!) but a listening ear, a kind word, a thoughtful, intelligent conversation, a cup of coffee - those things mean more to me than a dozen roses, assorted chocolates, and teddy bears combined! Though, flowers would brighten up my desk and I could probably teach a whole lesson on roses and tie it into science and math and writing :)
This Valentine's Day, lets take a deeper look into the things that we "love" and the things that we "care about." May we search for those that hold a deep place in our hearts and seek to share them with the people who are in our lives.
-cheers.
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