-"for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."
-"you know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar."
I then began to look up where these verses in the Bible were from and found them in Psalm 139. It was humbling to know that His spirit was speaking to me. And, after I read the psalm and reread it again and sat in it for a while, I thought: this is so beautiful. To have someone, the God of the universe know me so intimately and personally is such a gratifying thing. To be known inside and out by someone, even before you were born is absolutely amazing to me. And, to know that God wants to know you and still knows you in that way is mesmerizing. I believe that he longs to have a deep personal relationship with all of us. Sometimes, just giving up our "anxious thoughts" is the hardest thing. Surrender is difficult when all we want to do is hold on. But, Jesus calls us to release that balloon of uncertainity, fear, control (or whatever it may be for you) all over to him. He wants every part of us, not just the parts that we feel are "acceptable". He wants the parts of us that we deem "unacceptable" because it's in that brokenness that real healing happens.
There is a song with lyrics that go something like:
"To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to.
Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice, here's my life."
Psalm 139 spoke to me today and I just wanted to share it with you. May you allow it to change your life as it did mine.
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Psalm 139
1 O Lord, You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
