Honest moment here. Every time that I jet off to type a blog post, I always need to have another tab open to FB. It's just something that I do. Call it FOMO (fear of missing out) or an inability to be disconnected from the outer world for just a little bit. Yet, so often, I find myself checking social media accounts multiple times a day - that I wonder, where could that energy be expended instead? How could I be using those "minutes" over the airwaves of the earth, better?
It saddens me to say, that there are days where I often (no, frequently) find myself comparing my life to that of others. (see my blog post from yesterday, because at times, I view myself as Phelp's opponent, looking at him in the pool instead of focusing on myself.) And, I firmly believe that the act of "focusing on your life" (in a humble way of course), is a daily struggle that we all encounter.
When I step back from the camera lens and allow myself permission to "zoom out," I observe that there could be a variety of reasons why I let myself fall victim to one of three "comparison roadblocks," as I'll call them. For the purposes of this post, here they are:
1) The comparison of social media's latest fancies,
2) the comparison of people within my age bracket, and
3) the comparison of people who are married vs. those who are single (like me).
Some days, I trip harder than others, and both the bruises and the scrapes that remain are quite bloodied and purple. Yet, those hurts are evidence that I am growing and that I am trying to combat this "disease" of comparison that the whole wide world has on all of us, regardless of age - but, I feel, primarily with young people and those who are in their 20's and 30's. Some days, I feel good about myself, other days, I see what others are broadcasting across a variety of social media facets and feel small in my feats, compared to them. I'm not out hiking mountains or serving kids in third world countries. But, from sunrise to sunset, I am reminded of how loved I am in a world that constantly and incessantly, craves and wants more. And for young people, this false ideology can be extremely detrimental. Honestly, social media is a platform of a masquerade of sorts; in that, people post what makes them feel good and what they think other people want to hear. Imagine, instead, if we all took the time to think about what we posted and the ramifications of it before we actually clicked the word "post?"
As a teacher, I see our young kids firsthand, with cell phones, constantly checking their social media accounts for the next "like" or "view." Imagine, how much different our world would be if we taught them to use the social media platform as a way to share ideas in a thoughtful manner and as a way to bring their life changing views to the forefront? There are days, where I feel like "my kids," afraid of missing out on something important, where I could have used those precious few minutes of time writing a note, enjoying my home, or taking a breath of fresh air. I know it sounds so simple, but if we decided to do that every time we reached for our phone or sat down at our computer/devices/MacBook/iPad, etc. (you get the idea), imagine how different our world would be? I'd like to think that we would have more people talking to each other rather than staring at their phones, contemplating not on how to obtain the most "likes" for instant gratification and satisfaction but how to establish and maintain a lifelong road of adventure and "off-roading."
As a middle-aged twenty something woman, I do admit, that a second way in which I compare myself to that of the outside world is by seeking what others are doing in my age bracket and deciding if I'm living up to them. In essence, I'm putting "those people" on a pedestal, without even meaning to at all. This is yet another pitfall for me due to the fact that I'm already assuming that because I'm not doing what "they're" (insert whoever "they're is for you) doing, then I cannot be successful. Which is another mistruth.
When I again step back and analyze the camera lens, I am proud of all that I've accomplished at my age so far in my life. I am reminded that I have a full-time job teaching that I absolutely love, another job teaching at a college this fall, a home that I adore, and family and friends that are supportive of me in my endeavors. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that my journey would take me to where I am today. And, as cliché as that sounds, it's true. I'm very happy that I've grown up and taught to be an independent woman, who is free to speak her own mind, who graduated from a shy and quiet girl, and transformed across the stage into a luxurious butterfly. Whenever I feel that negative thoughts have overtaken me, I always, always remind myself of how far I've come, what I've accomplished, and the future that lies ahead. And, when I do, I am again reminded that it's all because of Him. And for that truth, I am thankful.
Because of God, I know that I am single for now. Whenever I feel myself comparing my "singleness" to that of young married folks, I immediately remind myself of the things that I am privileged to do as a single person. Like stay at home in my pjs on a Saturday. Take myself out to dinner. Read in the backyard. Go for a drive to the country store. Social media makes it easy for single people to think that something must be "amiss" in their lives because they are not "with someone" or "getting married" or "engaged" or "not even close to him 'popping' the question." That's simply not true! We are loved and cherished and blessed regardless of our current "romantic" state, for lack of a better word. Granted, my heart knows what it knows and I look forward to being married someday, to meeting a guy who will "sweep me off my feet" in his own unique wayl someone that I can have a good laugh with, one who will go for a run with me, a man that enjoys the ocean, one that likes to travel, and a guy that will push me to be the best I can be. That, I know will come in time. But for now, I am content as a single woman. Accepting this truth has taken many years, but I can honestly say that I've learned and gained so much as a single woman.
That's all to say that you are loved exactly where you are. Another cliché, I know. Haha! But, it's true! You are. Stop comparing yourself to another person and trying to see if you measure up. "Because with the measure that you use, it will also be used to you." Our measuring cups are all filled with different amounts, so if we compare 1/2 cup of cinnamon to someone with 1 cup of sugar, then we are not comparing the same amounts, nor the same ingredients. Please know that your mistakes are not your future. You are loved because of your identity, because of who you are. You are loved because of your passions not in spite of them. You are loved because you are deeply cared for, you are a child of, in my view, God. He is so happy and pleased when you call "Father," that He eagerly takes you into His arms to hold and cradle you as you were when you were a young child.
Okay, end of rant. But, for those of you who need encouragement in a world that seems to compare every little thing against everything else, you are loved just as you are. Rest easy with that truth.
--cheers.
