Life isn't always about "being right" or getting the "last word." Sometimes, we are so concerned with getting in that last thought in an effort to make ourselves feel as though we are "ahead" or have a "leg up" on another person. I believe that this power struggle stems from a deeper, internal struggle. Ultimately, it feels like wrestling or a boxing match, where a person has an opponent in a headlock. When you get two people in the ring or on the mat, wrestling their way to the last word or thought, the punches become brutal. Faces become caked with blood that at times, are indescribable, even to their loved ones sitting ringside. Arms ache with trying to punch from mere strength alone. Sweat pours down the face and the body, like rain running down a used umbrella.
So, why do people long for getting in the "last word?" From my experience, it sometimes has more to do with not what we say but how we say it. Our body language tells a story just as well or even better than our lips do. In other words, I'm not a wrestler or a boxer, but I do understand that our body language conveys a message to another person or a group of people, more often than our words do. I would imagine that when a boxer or a wrestler faces their opponent, they are aware of certain postures, gestures, even stances that can predict a fatal blow. If they have practiced enough under a trainer, they may be able to determine when those punches or blows may occur and be a few steps in front of the other person (though not always literally.)
I have noticed that when I am tired and try my best to communicate with my parents through conversation, sometimes the most simple, kind gestures can be a dark rain cloud due to unintentional voice tones, or folded arms across my chest, or a stare on my face. Consciously, I don't intend to do this, but subconsciously, I am tired, want to sleep, and it is past my bedtime.
When this happens, I am reminded that mere strength alone is not enough for me to succeed in the boxing or wrestling match. Preparation is needed and an awareness of self is required in order for us to accurately and effectively communicate our needs to groups of people, especially those closest to us. Loved ones often take the brunt of our negativity and this should not be so. But, it helps to know that something deeper lies beneath all of this hardship: God. He is the one that gives me the strength to try again when I fail. He is the one who speaks the Philippians 4:13 verse to me when I feel as though I cannot face "that person" or "that situation": his voice whispers lovingly in my ear saying: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It is important that I identify where this strength comes from and point its presence in my life back to God.
Life requires me to interact with people and situations when I am happy as a child, hopeful as a rainbow, sorrowful as a thunderstorm. It is His ability, His life within me, that allows me to try again and again to "make things right."
