A Rebirth of Sorts

A few days ago at about 8pm at night, I decided to clean my room. Before you continue reading, there are a few things that you should know when I get into a "cleaning mood":

1) It's incredibly hard for me to do work with a room that is untidy.
2) I find it easier to think when things are clean.
3) I feel a sense of accomplishment.

So, with all that said - I began to clean. I found items that I forgot I had - old high school yearbooks that flooded me with memories, books with notes that I had written in, and jewlery that I was searching for. A part of me felt like the widow who was looking for her one lost coin. She turned her entire house upside down in order to find it. (Luke 15: 8 - 10). Clothes that I hadn't worn in years were set aside in a laundry basket to give away to a nearby thrift store.  All throughout my cleaning escapades, the following thought crossed my mind:

"Cleaning is symbolic for the season that you are in. It represents a new chapter in your life and a future that God has planned out for you."

As a recent college graduate, many people have been asking me "What's next?" I feel like cleaning (physically and spiritually) is the "next" part of my life. We all have so much dirt and dust in our lives, that's it's clogging the pores on our skin, it's stunting our growth, and it's causing us to have distorted views of life. Sometimes, I feel that we get so accustomed to seeing things only one way, that we miss out on what James 1:17 says: "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." 

I've recently been learning that the presents we "want" are not always packaged in the way that we would like them to be. In fact, I would argue that what we "need" is often what we miss out on the most. I've received more joy out of watching the same red headed woodpecker come to my birdfeeder the past two days then watching the next television program. I've taken more delight in observing astounding sunsets from my house than worrying about the next day.

In a way, you could say that I am maturing, but in another way - it feels like I have been cleaning out the windows of my soul. I've been scrubbing with windex and dusting with a cloth in order to put everything back in order. See, there is a specific place for my bed as there is for my desk. In a similiar way, God longs for everything to be put back in it's proper place. Paul says in Romans 8:22 that "we know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time". We are all giving birth to something new. We are a hurt and broken people who all share something in common that arises from the depths of our being - we long to see the world restored back to it's original design. God never intended for divorce but for marriages that would show the world a picture of himself; he never wanted murders but sought people to love their enemies. A new world is groaning within us that is unlike the one in which we are living in right now.

As a post grad, I see myself moving from a place of wanting "things" to being quite okay with waiting for them. The Bible encourages us to pray all the time but also when we find ourselves in these points of our lives. Matthew 6:8 says: "do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." It's with this type of prayer and reflection that I am coming to terms with such a reality. My plans for my life have been laid aside in exchange for God's dreams and hopes to reign. Everyday, I see parts of my old self dying in order that Christ may rule within me. Romans 6: 5 -11 says:

"If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him  so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."

In this season of Advent, where there are only 5 days until Christmas - let us pause and reflect. Let us think about what we are purchasing and ask if the item is something that we can live without (at least for a little while). I notice that during the holidays, we become so focused on money, buying, exchanging, purchasing, and wanting - that those things that are meant to be beautiful in the right rhythm with God actually become cheap and foggy.

May you take some time out of your day to stop and smell the flowers, to enjoy a cup of hot cocoa, to have a meal with friends, to smile at your neighbor, to talk to the person you've been holding a grudge against, to sing in the parking lot, to skip down the aisle at the supermarket. Embrace the innocence of childhood. Relive the memory of Jesus in a manger - born into extreme oppression under challenging historical circumstances.

Allow yourself to be "reborn again." Jesus conversed with Nicodemus on this topic during his time on earth:

"How can a man be born again when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!"

Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth ot flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, "You must be born again. The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

As I clean, I am preparing for something new to arrive. Just like some of us are preparing for the new year and writing resolutions, I find myself trying to wrap my mind around a God that came to earth as a baby, gave his life up for me, hung on a cross, died, and rose from the dead so that I may live. This gift, the one that cannot be packaged in a box with a neat little bow, is the one that I've been waiting for my whole life. It's that one present that's left under the tree with my name carefully inscribed on it where I'm like

"Whoa."

Now, having the God of the universe know me by name: "Alexandra" - that's not something I would trade in after the holiday.

That's a keeper forever.