A Single Puzzle Piece

As I write, I realize that I am in a significant stage in my life. I have a full-time job as a teacher, a full-time graduate student, a daughter, a friend, a sister, and more.

I need to learn how to practice, rather, to occupy my time with the hobbies, enjoyments, and people that I value the most. I must learn how to encounter the daily struggle of social media head-on: of spending way too much time concerned with the "likes" and "hashtags" and filtering pictures. Because honestly, life is so much more than that. It's about spending time with the people that you love. It's about being intentional in the present moment, and taking control of your wandering mind, when, left to its own thoughts, so often entertains unhealthy and unfruitful things.

For me, it's spending adequate and daily time in the morning with God. It's working through my grumbling spirit and pushing forward against every grain of my body and rational thought that says "go back to sleep, for it's way too early!" Instead, it's waking up early, before the dawn, just so that I can have some quiet time in my day with Jesus. It's confronting my daily struggle of waking up early so that I can instead gain the peace, enjoyment, and fulfillment of starting my day off positively rather than barely staying awake late at night.

For me, it's not immediately running to social media to check for my value and daily worth in society-- but doing an inner "gut" check and asking myself everyday "where do I find my value and worth today? Where does that innate desire come from today? Is it focused on beautiful and uplifting things or on areas that can break me down and tear me apart?"

It's making time for the things that I enjoy; that bring me tremendous comfort. Instead of picking up my phone or latest technolgical device, it's using that time to read a chapter in a favorite book, to write a paragraph, to read some poetry, to bake, to cook, to take a walk, to draw, to exercise. It's simply filling that time that I would spend on social media with something else more worthwhile and meaningful to me.

For me, it's simply praying. It's returning back to this important facet of my life and doing it daily. It's praying for myself and for others AND believing that Jesus will provide and answer my prayers because of the very true fact that I have personally witnessed him working in the past. It's pointing out these "ebenezers," grateful, thankful, and full of remembrance that the past is, truly, the past. It's looking forward to the future of what is to come. And, because of my own, personal, firsthand experience with God that no one can take away from or deny me, it's knowing that He will give me not exactly what I want, but exactly what I need for that present moment.

For me, it's treating my parents with the utmost dignity and the respect that they deserve from their daughter. It's seeing them with a more holistic approach rather than just providing a roof over my head. It's valuing their expertise, their experience, and wisdom and asking for advice. It's trying to live that out when and where I can within the context of my own life. It's learning how to respectfully disagree, in a loving, graceful, and caring way. It's being thankful in all circumstances - even to those who are quick to make the remark "that's easy for you to say."

For me, it's trusting that a man, who is equally as committed to his future wife, is waiting and praying for someone like me; for us to finally meet and exchange glances. It's trusting in the power of Jesus and his faithful and precise timing. It's knowing that He really does know exactly "what He's doing." It's praying daily for my husband, not just simply writing him letters in my notebook, but transforming those letters into prayers by the power of His Holy Spirit. It is creating a life built and founded on Jesus, before my husband and I create a life with each other. It's not being jealous when I see an influx of young couples at my church, in relationships, engaged, married, and/or with kids. It's turning that-would-be-jealousy into a servants heart. It's asking them questions about their relationships and learning from their advice.

It's trusting that my "Storyteller" (with a capital S), has got quite an amazing story brewing up that I have the honor of living out right now. It's knowing that I am not "waiting" for my life to happen when my future husband arrives, it's knowing that my life is happening now and to take advantage of every opportunity that I have to live it out fully by the grace and leading of God. In fact, it's using my singleness to reach out to the other single ladies at my church and to help them become comfortable with themselves and their identity, just as Jesus has taught me to become. It's teaching them and constantly reminding myself, that my worth and value is not found in a man, but comes primarily from the source of the Living Water Himself: Jesus Christ. Finally, it's knowing that my husband is one of amazing stature and beauty - -that his ability to wait (perhaps even more patiently than I am at times), is a testament to the work of Jesus in his life.

It's knowing that God is ultimately in control of everything, has it all figured out, and that I am just a single puzzle piece in this bigger 3D picture that I happen to call "life."